I’m not sure if you remember me or hate me for never saying goodbye, but I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let the distance between us affect our friendship. I didn’t mean to promise we would never lose touch only to let it happen anyway. I’m sorry that you may not even remember me right now as I am writing to and about you. (Or maybe your hands are starting to sweat and your heart just dropped because you know who you are).
It’s not that I have an issue saying goodbye; it’s that I don’t ever find myself in a situation where I think it is necessary until it is too late. I find myself avoiding making a big deal out of the high possibility I will never see someone again and just relying on the small chance we do stay in each other’s lives. I would say I don’t know why I do it, but I do. I don’t like the thought of someone being gone forever. The thought that there will be so many people in and out of my life scares me. Goodbyes are hard, especially if they are forever. But what is even worse is never saying goodbye and forever wishing you had.
First we were good friends, and we would talk all the time and hang out as much as possible. Remember when we thought we were going to grow up and live as next door neighbors so our kids to be best friends, too? That would have been so awesome, I bet. Then after a few months or even a couple of years, we slowly merge into different friend groups without it being made into any big deal. We barely even noticed it happened. We slowly drifted apart and not because we didn’t like each other anymore, but because we didn’t want to say goodbye and give our friendship the official stamp of being over forever. And it’s not like I don’t care about you anymore – I definitely do. I just don’t know who you are now.
I don’t know who you're dating or even how many people you have dated since the last time we talked. Heck, I don’t even know if you still go to the same school anymore. There used to be a time when we didn’t go a day without speaking, and now the most I hear of you is from what I can guess by your social media posts. It looks like you are doing well.
So, here it is, the big Goodbye. Goodbye, old friend. Thank you for being part of my life when I needed you. Goodbye. I will never forget you or the memories and times we shared together. Goodbye, pal. I am sorry that we didn’t talk more and drifted ways. Goodbye and believe me when I say I am sorry we never made it to forever and that the last time we saw each other was goodbye.
Goodbye finally,
The friend who forgot to say goodbye
