Traveling back to NYC continues to bring back my “before college” memories and feelings that I thought I would stop having. The truth that I failed to realize is that New York City is a part of me and I am a part of New York City as well. No matter how long and how far away I go on on this planet without visiting this city, I cannot go on forgetting all that I have experienced and encountered.
You do not get to throw away your childhood and teenage years because it is a thing of your past. The things that surround you in your present and the things that you hope to change within your near and far future will always remind you of where you've been and what you've done in your past.
You only dream of it more when you are so far gone from the place you spent most of your childhood. You only reminisce over the times it did you good or bad and how it molded you into the person you are as you are reading this.
No matter how many times I try to get over this place and move onto a better future, I can't help but think that everything has helped me to be the person that I am today.
The hood made me tougher. The streets have shown me how to respect it. The city has shown me how to face adversity when the timing is not right. In many ways, the city has made me mentally tough and open minded to the demographic of people that exist in the world.
While New York City may not have every culture or ethnicity to be represented as a global population, it is considered to be one of the most diverse cities in the world. Interacting with different people opened my eyes and allows me to have an open heart while being cautious of what I do or how I think.
I have never missed New York City or even my family as much as I do now. I realized that paying a visit to my family doesn't only mean a lot to my family but it means a lot to myself. I last visited New York City about two months ago but only to pickup my belongings. This time, I came to see my family and friends to value my time with them. Seeing them reliefs of a new but familiar face they know, it was good to see everyone.
While I do not miss the conditions that I was living in or the noises that I dealt with, I missed seeing skyscrapers that reached out to the realms of the sky; aesthetic views that can be explored in gardens, parks, and landscapes; I missed the expressions of opinionated people who feel as though they have information that is valuable to share; I miss being acknowledged by strangers who happened to be in the same space, like a crowded train.
One more thing that is important is my family. No matter how much I needed a change of environment, nothing matters more than to be a part of my family’s lives and watching all of them grow and change. It is important to see my niece and soon-to-be nephew along with little cousins who are growing up before my very own eyes.
