I remember it just like it was yesterday. Wake up and seeing cops, being told I had to leave with my grandfather. Everything was a daze until I heard the words leave my grandpa's mouth

"Mom is sick and is going to the hospital you need to leave with me". It was like a turn on switch for me.

It's never easy losing someone you are close with. I never lost anyone I was close to until I was 14 and lost my mother to a brain aneurysm. Everything seemed fake until the day of her funeral. Seeing her lay there motionless and so beautiful. She looked peaceful. But that wasn't enough to make me feel okay. I was so young I couldn't understand why God would take her from me.

Losing someone can affect people differently. Some just accept it and move on. Others lose part of themselves. It's scary when you can't accept it. Watching your life change in the blink of an eye. I didn't know how to process it. It didn't hit me hard until everyone else in my family had accepted it. I was the only one lost. I felt alone. But, over time, I found my way.

You can't let losing someone stop you from living the life you planned. Because, if they were here, they would want you to do those things - so why not do them and still make them proud. It won't be easy. You will want to give up a lot, but you can't. You have to keep fighting.

In my mind, God doesn't throw anything at you that you cant handle. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life will suck but you always have to look for the light in the moment. Surround yourself with good people. Make yourself happy, because saying goodbye is never easy but you will be okay. You just have to fight for it.