The hookup culture is real. Young people my age no longer go on dates. Instead of taking someone out, we’ve replaced dating with “let's hang out” or “ Netflix and chill.” Overall, hanging out is not a bad thing, and in fact, it’s a relaxed way to spend time with someone. However, hanging out takes only some pressure off of relationships and instead establishes a new pressure. In my opinion, our relaxed view of relationships cheapens the dating world. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for eating popcorn and watching Netflix, but when it comes to dating or at least the first couple dates, relationships need to be taken a little more seriously. Hanging out is cool after awhile. There are just certain standards that need to be established before you start “hanging out," whatever that may mean. Because, let's be real, hanging out can mean different things to different people.
Time after time, especially since coming to college, I’ve had guys ask me to come over and hang out. And it didn’t take long until I just stopped replying to their messages. You see, there’s always this little pressure when someone asks me to “hang out.” For example, what expectations does this guy have? Perhaps, it's just the guys I’ve been surrounded with in the past. Therefore, I’ve learned to view this phrase as a red flag. I refuse to “hang out” with a guy alone. I’ve learned to protect myself by not even going there. It’s important to set your boundaries before anything gets started. You want to be clear as to what you want. Because you want to be treated right. You want a man, not a boy. You deserve the absolute best, and by golly, that is what you are going to get. Here’s one thing you could do to weed out the boys:
First, look him straight in the eye and tell him “This is how it’s going to be. You like me? You’re going to take me out. I’m going to ask you some questions, and you’re going to ask me some questions. And if you still like me, then we’ll do it over again. We’re going to get to know each other before we jump into anything. Because I am a lady. You’ve probably never met one before. Or you wouldn’t have asked me to 'hang out.' No, I don’t play like that. This is what you have to do. Are you up for the challenge or not?”
If someone is trying to pursue you, he needs to take you out first and foremost. Put in some effort before the Netflix and chill stage. Men, be gentlemanly. Ladies, be strong. You all deserve the best.
