Mason,

In our last eight weeks of freedom, I want to take the time to reflect and thank you. Over this past year and some months (are we even keeping track anymore?) I’ve watched you grow from the boy I loved to the man I can’t live without. You have been so good to me and even when you had no idea how to handle the situation, you sat by me. I know these past few months have been pretty rough, but I admire your strength and ability to get back up when life has knocked you down.

Everything in our relationship happened so fast but I wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s no one else in this world I would want to wake up next to every day, no one else I would want to have a family with, and no one else I would want to call my fiance. It has been you since the beginning and it will still be you long after it ends. You are my strength, the love of my life, my biggest supporter, and my biggest weakness. You are my home and you are my best friend. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything and I can’t picture me without you. I truly believe you’re my soulmate and we were meant to come back together after all of these years of being apart.

Even in our time apart, I thought about you a lot. I often wondered what kind of person you became, what you liked, and what your voice sounded like. I wondered if you still played guitar (you did), and I wondered if you could still eat 12 tacos in one sitting (you can). I mostly wondered if you were happy, though. Your happiness meant everything to me although you were no longer a part of my life. When I saw the photos of you and your ex, I felt my heart sink a little bit because I thought there would be no chance I’d be a part of your life again, but I was happy for you. As long as you were happy, I would be happy, too.

But I watch you now and I try to picture you with someone else and I feel my heart shatter. Sometimes, when things are really bad with me, I think of letting you go and letting you find someone who is happier but I could never do that. The thought of you with someone else makes me physically sick. I can’t imagine my life without being able to kiss you or being able to shove my face into your chest and just sob. You’re my person. You’re who I want. Be assured that nothing will ever change that. No one in the world can replace you. Sorry. You’re stuck with me.

So, we have eight (or less) short weeks until our lives change forever, and I just wanted to say "thank you." Thank you for picking me up when I’ve fallen down and holding me so tight that the broken pieces fit back together. Thank you for the dinner dates and the late night talks. Thank you for the laughs that had me doubled over in tears and thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when you don’t think they’re funny. Thank you for the nighttime cuddles and the midnight snacks. Thank you for re-watching the same episode 17 times because I keep falling asleep during it. Thank you for the countless back rubs, foot rubs, shoulder rubs, leg rubs, and neck rubs. I’m pretty sure you could go be a professional masseuse now. Thank you for sharing your grandmother with me and giving me the chance to know what it’s like to have one. Thank you for the annoying lovely little brothers. Thank you for standing beside me when no one else was. Thank you for the life that is growing inside of me. Thank you for watching me grow and still loving me. Thank you for loving me when I had no love to give. Thank you for loving me.

I know for a fact I will miss the nights when it was just us and we had nothing to do but I am more than excited to watch you fall in love with our daughter and watch as your pour your love into her. I can only hope that when she’s old enough (so when she’s 30), she will find someone like you who will love her unconditionally. You’re going to be a great dad.

I love you.