Honestly, quick question for y'all out there - HOW do you function on like three hours of sleep. I literally do not understand. Eight hours isn't even enough for me to function like a normal person - any less and I will literally fall asleep while I'm walking. So, you magic functioning sleep walkers, how exactly do you do it? Can I take no sleep life-living lessons from you guys? Believe me, I need them - and I'm sure a couple of you out there could use some as well, if you happen to go through these exact same issues that come from needing way more sleep than anyone else...
1. If you don’t get the minimum hours, you will fall asleep later.
No matter where you are; in class, at practice, the bathroom stall, walking to class.
2. Even when you get enough sleep, you’re still tired.
This is a war that will never be won.
3. You have actually physically slapped yourself in the face to try to stay awake.
- or pinched yourself during lecture, or felt the need to keep twitching to keep your eyes open. All of these only have about a .05% success rate, so good luck.
4. You’re constantly thinking about being able to go back to sleep.
From the moment you crawl/fall out of bed in the morning until the moment you finally arrive home for the night.
5. You fall asleep before anything fun happens.
So you can’t stay awake past 9:30 PM. What ever happens before then?
6. Caffeine is a requirement if you’re planning on going out that night.
Chug the soda. Spike everything with espresso. Bathe in energy drinks.
7. Friends will tell you that they only got 2 hours of sleep last night or 6 the whole week. Or they pulled 2 overnighters the past week.
You can’t help but be split between being extremely worried for their health and insanely jealous that they can live and function on such a small amount of sleep.
8. Your friends will also never understand your claims that you literally cannot not get enough sleep.
It won’t just be a rough day if you don’t get your 8 hours; someone will die.
9. You probably have fallen asleep on the bus before.
…and it is just as embarrassing as it sounds.
10. There is no such thing as too many naps.
Have you ever set an alarm for a five minute nap? You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, man.
11. The mouth is the first thing to stop working when you’re lacking sleep – or rather speech.
I know, I don’t even know what I’m saying right now.
12. FOMO is real – you frequently feel like you sleep the day away.
Maybe because you do. But what’s the alternative? Being tired is the worst.
13. You have developed the ability to literally sleep through anything, on anything, in pretty much any situation (even extremely inappropriate ones).
A bumpy bus ride? No problem. The rock-hard floor of the library? If necessary. While you’re getting reprimanded? Can’t even stop that.
14. You sleep for about 87% of breaks.
Thanksgiving, Christmas… That’s the point of coming home, right? To sleep?
15. You were always the first to fall asleep at sleepovers.
Unless of course, you consumed copious amounts of caffeine. Still haven’t ever pulled an all-nighter.
16. You can never get enough sleep.
Nothing to do the next day? Sleep in way too late to accomplish anything – and then fall asleep early. Does that count as a functioning human?
Why are you even still reading this? Go take a nap.
