Six years ago, I went out to Cimarron, New Mexico to take part in a leadership experience to hone in my ability to take control of a team when needed, and to be more prepared in the outdoors. But out there I didn't only learn about wilderness first aid and search and rescue, but I learned a lot about myself.
In the week out there, I was so in-touch with nature and its beauty, the ability to see all the stars and planets visible to the naked eye is truly grounding. Before I went out to the camp I was truly lost. I was trying to discover my identity, and my religion. Through meditation and being able to truly think deeply about myself I discovered a lot.
The first thing I discovered was my religion, I had been struggling with finding my true God and which deity do I really believe in, and when I discovered Wicca, an earth-based pagan religion I had thought I truly found the one, and I was right.
Being Wiccan just clicked while I was out there, worshiping the Sun-God and Moon-Goddess, made sense to me since the sun brings us light and life, where the moon shines in the nights sky as a guiding light.
The other thing I discovered was my sexuality, one of the reasons I struggled with my religion. Many religions forsake homosexuality, so finding one really helped me cope with being romantically involved with men. But the spirituality of the land being once prominent land of the Anasazi Native Americans, I was just refueled with the spiritual properties of the land.
For me, being in nature calms me and makes me more aware of my surroundings there something about life and untouched land being all around you that truly helps you feel loved by the world. I can't wait to go back to Philmont.