Before we leave this election we must all thank Donald Trump for the one good thing he did. He exposed evangelicals, who are big Trump supporters, as the shameless hypocrites they have always been. I don't know if you have noticed but Republicans didn't get to play the Jesus card this time around because it's hard to bring up the Ten Commandments when their candidate has spent his life breaking all of them. Trump's commandments are like the regular commandments with "lol" at the end.
-Adultery: Check
-Cursing: Check
-Stealing: Check
-Bearing False Witness: Check
-False Idols: Oh Yeah
He is the world's least godly man. Jesus saw the good in whores and lepers, but if he had met Donald Trump, he would go, "Sorry man, that's a preexisting condition."
So, with the election over after the longest election ever, I am going to stop for a minute and appreciate this one silver lining. That for once, religion wasn't dragged into the debate. After so many elections where the candidates tried to out-Jesus each other, this one had not talk from either one of them about how they start their morning with scripture. The Republican wasn't reaching out to his prayer warriors. The debate moderators weren't asking, "How does faith inform your decisions?" And best of all, we were spared the sight of having to watch Hillary Clinton try and clap on the beat with a black church choir.
But I still think we are owed an explanation from the values voters as to how they could line up behind Trump? A man who loves to say, "Nobody loves the Bible more than I do." But when asked, couldn't name a single passage. Even Sarah Palin said, "Oh for fuck sakes, it's not a newspaper." Trump tried to quote scripture once and called 2nd Corinthians 2 Corinthians. As in two Corinthians walk into a bar. He also once accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Tailor.
Trump has nothing in common with Jesus, who is from the Middle East. Trump wouldn't even let him into the country.
Jesus healed the blind
Trump mocks the handicapped
Jesus turned the other cheek
Trump punched a guy in the face
Jesus turned water into wine
Trump just whines
The Bible says, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." Trump says,"Fine, but what about my daughter?"
In the primaries, evangelicals had a whole bouquet of religious nuts to choose from: Mick Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz, Ben Carson. Ben Carson, who doesn't just walk with Jesus, they shower together.
But they went with the foul mouth, thrice married, nut job. With one exception and I never thought I would hear myself say this. Let's here it for the Mormons. The Mormons, who bailed on Trump big league. White evangelicals go for Trump over Hillary 75-14, but only 19 percent of Utah Mormons have a favorable view of Orange Hitler. Because apparently, Mormons believe you shouldn't vote for a lying, infantile, scumbag just because he is on your team, and they're Mormons; they'll believe almost anything.
-They believe underwear has magic powers
-They believe you get your own planet when you die.
-Adam and Eve were born in Missouri
-Jesus hung with the Indians who were Jewish
-They let Donny Osmond claim he was a little bit rock n' roll
But ask one if Trump would be a good president and they're like, "Does it look like I was born yesterday?"
