I was ecstatic about the release of the new film, The Birth of a Nation. It sold for $17.5 million which is one of the largest deals in Sundance history, it was going to bring some much-needed diversity to the Oscar pool, and it was going to tell the story of the Nat Turner slave rebellion, a narrative often overlooked in Hollywood and history textbooks.

So learning of a 1999 rape accusation against the director and star, Nate Parker, was hugely disappointing on multiple levels. While he was acquitted for the crime, the precedent of college rape cases not being taken seriously, or in which the trial was not held to the same standards as other judicial procedures, are too high for me to believe in the verdict without reasonable doubt.

Parker did issue an apology in which he reiterates his innocence but acknowledges that the morality of the situation holds more weight than the law. His alleged innocence does not change the trauma that was caused in the same way that his apology does not change the past.

Yes, he discussed how paramount discussions about women’s safety, consent, and healthy relationships are, but those words seem tainted when they come from the mouth of an accused rapist. Furthermore, his apology, while well written and thought out, does have some problematic phrases.

He cites the fact that he is the “father of daughters” which is, unfortunately, a very common tactic for men to use when discussing rape. The idea of being a husband to a wife, or son to a mother, or father to a daughter, should not be the reason that you speak out against rape.

Women are more than their relationships to men. They are more than daughters and wives and cousins and girlfriends. Rape is detestable because it is an act against a person, a human being who exists to be more than a familial tie or sexual partner.

Educating people about consent is not important because you are a father to daughters, it is important because there are lives at stake.

I can’t tell you whether to see this movie or not. I can’t give a definitive answer as to whether his statement of innocence is enough, or whether the acquittal is enough, or even if his apology is enough.

I don’t know if the impact of the film will be worth putting (another) rapist on the Oscar’s stage. Some people can cleanly separate the art from the artist, and justify that supporting one does not necessarily mean supporting the other. I don't know if I can do that, but I do know that I can’t deal with another apology post.