As a girl in college I feel many can relate to me when I say I hate fad diets and cleanses but do them any ways because I don’t know why. Every time I decide to do one I immediately hate myself for doing it and I wonder why I enjoy misery. Is a smoking hot bod worth 6 days of only drinking what is trying to be passed off as a shake? I’m not even 24 hours in to my first day of this new shake diet/cleanse thing and I already want a cheeseburger and a beer. Talk about pathetic.
So it’s called Almased, maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s starting to get popular. I think. I heard about it from my bestie who goes to Alabama who had a sorority sister who did it and had amazing results. It’s relatively affordable and you can get it from like Walgreens and CVS so I was like why not, it seems like a good way to kick off me trying to loose what joined me during the summer.
This stuff tastes like if baby formula and dog food had a shake baby. It is literally awful. This little pamphlet that comes with it and their website gives a suggestion of ingredients you can mix with it to make it taste better. For example they give a recipe to make it taste like a cinnamon roll. It includes vanilla extract, a whole boat load of cinnamon, and some stevia which I didn’t have so I added honey instead. I also read somewhere what you can add some oats to thicken it up so I did that too. Mixed it all up in my handy-dandy magic bullet (totally recommend you invest in one just for life) and there it was just staring back at me. Let me tell you this, I don’t know what kind of cinnamon rolls these people have been eating but that was NOT a cinnamon roll.
First off, the combination of the milk and that lovey smelling shake powder did not allow for the immense amount of cinnamon to even think about dissolving. So after I have plugged my nose while chugging it and repeating in my mind over and over again “this is a cinnamon roll, this is a cinnamon roll” I was met by a mouthful of cinnamon. I didn’t see it coming because there was a layer of the wonderfully yellowed shake covering it so all of the sudden it was just like BAM in my mouth. I felt like I was doing the cinnamon challenge from hell.
So I think it is safe to say that these 6 days will be something straight out of my own little personal horror film. So keep me and potential hot bod in your prayers as I embark on this journey. I am currently very hungry but would rather my stomach eat itself than drink another one of those shakes right now and have to deal with the 30 minutes of nausea. So count your blessing and don’t take those chicken nuggets for granted, because somewhere out there, there is a college girl who is drinking her tears that have fallen in to her gritty cleanse or diet shake.
