narcissistic people practice that “divide and conquer” thing.
these emotional abusers enjoy controlling their victims and one of the tactics they use to exert control is what is known as triangulation.
as you probably know, a relationship with a narcissistic person is full of provocation, uncertainty, and probably even infidelity.
they live by making you feel bad, only acting in ways that make you feel fear and guilt, because these are the feelings that block you and don’t let you move or be you.
to achieve their goal these people use different manipulation techniques, and one of their favorites is triangulation.
triangulation is a method of sadistic manipulation used by a narcissistic person to manipulate two people at once by creating a triangle with them in between. it ultimately divides and confronts people.
within a couple, triangulation consists of bringing the presence of another person into the dynamics of the relationship, whether it be a former lover, a current lover, a relative or a stranger.
the narcissist likes to create love triangles and bring in the opinions of others to validate their point of view. they do this to an excessive extent to play with your emotions.
the narcissist relies on jealousy as a powerful emotion that can make you compete for their affections. this consists in trying to make you jealous so that they feel empowered and so they can control you. it it makes you feel bad, you are in a vulnerable phase.
they compare you to other people simply to make you feel inferior, and you with your pain come down, you think you are less than that other person they mention and then you get blocked and paralyzed hiding in your pain.
if you’ve been in a similar situation, talk about it, because the more examples we have, the easier it will be to identify the triangulation the next time a person practices it with you.
another way to use triangulation can occur when your partner is too nice to the someone. has it ever happened to you that it looks like the narcissist is flirting with someone in a very exaggerated way?
what they do is focus their attention on a third person, so that you react and give them their narcissistic edge.
they flirt to belittle, to make you mad. tell them four things about it with your anger and you’ll give them what they want, your energy; the narcissistic supplement.
the intention of these narcissistic people with these games is to show themselves as a desirable person, to make you see that it generates attraction and interest in others, and that you feel lucky or fortunate to have them by your side. what happens is that instead of creating admiration in you, it creates anger.
they also triangulate in a negative way : “x person has spoken ill of you..” etc. — phrases that supposedly other people say not speaking well of you.
with this they look for the same thing, the supplement, your anger and that you feel insecure or unsafe. also, when they say that others think less of you, they want you to separate yourself from them. so we can say that with triangulation you also manage to isolate yourself because of course if your partner tells you that the person you thought was your friend says ugly things about you, you don’t like it and you end up separating yourself from them.
tremendous, because having you isolated from others is something that gives them absolute power over us victims. if you don’t have relationships with others, you become dependent on your abuser for almost everything.
as you can see, triangulation is a very effective way for the narcissistic person to get their narcissistic supplement, your energy, because by creating competition in you, they quickly get your reaction.
so please remember that the next time you catch your partner trying to triangulate, it’s not that you’re worth less than someone else, they just want you to believe it so that they can make you feel bad and control you.
don’t ever forget that you are worth it, that the narcissistic person strives every moment with different tactics to make you believe that you are not worth it just to manipulate you.
you are very strong, you have survived a relationship like this, with how hard it is to walk against the current. go on a little longer, because you have very little left to discover all that you are worth. never let anyone else tell you what to do or how to feel, because i assure you that you are amazing, you are worth a lot you just have to go a little further to see it.
