A lot of people ask me what it's like to be an only child, and how I function without other kids around me 24/7. Correction: actually a lot of people just ask me if I'm spoiled, or crazy, or socially inept. People seem to have a lot of weird ideas about kids who do not have siblings, and the questions only seem to get worse as I get older. However, the number of only children families are on the rise, and it seems like a good time to dispel some myths about 'lonely onlies".
1. I'm not (that) crazy.
At least, I don't think I'm that crazy. A lot of people seem to think because I don't have siblings, I must be some weird loner type, possibly a psychopath, possibly a terrorist. There is no study that supports the idea that only children are more likely to suffer schizophrenia (which isn't really the cause of acts of terror or harmful incidents, but that's another article), or another mental illness, or become any kind of evil doer, at least no more likely than anyone else with siblings. Just because I don't have someone close to my age at home does not mean that I can't interact with people. Which leads me to...
2. I know how to make friends
Once people determine I'm not crazy, they often jump to the conclusion that I must still not be socially compatible with others because I had no practice making friends with my siblings as a little kid. I don't know about you, but I'm surprised people with siblings can make friends because a lot of people do not treat their siblings very well. So assuming that I can't make friends because I didn't fight with a sibling when I was younger just does not make sense. I may not have had as many friends when I was little because I didn't meet other kids through my siblings, but I made friends really well.
3. I am not spoiled
Usually it's the women at like a nail shop or the hair salon that end up asking me this, but every once in a while one of my friends or class mates thinks this, and it ends up really hurting my friendship. I do understand that there are things I can do easily that my friends with siblings cannot do. I do understand that my house is typically quieter, and it's easier for my parents to pick me up or for me to get the car. But I do NOT get everything I ask for, just because I asked, or wild gifts, or anything crazy like that. I am still expected to be mature and responsible. I get told 'no' a LOT. I have rules and limits set by my parents. I am lucky to be financially comfortable, and I am lucky that I have a good relationship with loving parents. But I do not act like a self entitled princess. If I do, it's my own fault and has nothing to do with how many siblings I have.
4. I am not broken
This one comes from a very specific example that ended up completely ruining a friendship of mine. My freshman year of high school, I got into a disagreement with a friend. I tried to handle it myself by talking to my friend, but she got really angry at me and her mom called mine. My (ex) friend's mom basically told my mom I was psychologically impaired because I didn't have a little sister to confide in.
That was kind of a complicated story, and the details are pretty irrelevant, but the point is, I am NOT damaged goods because I don't have siblings. This friend had siblings and we both messed up and we both got into a fight. Her and her mom's perception of me being spoiled and entitled and crazy because I didn't have siblings ended up ruining a friendship.
The greater point that could probably be taken from this article is don't assume things about people because of their family life. Everyone comes from a different background, and even if they are similar, they still have different experiences and different outlooks on life. I am an only child, and I am still kind and loving, and I still have wonderful relationships and friends, and I don't need siblings to have those.
