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I did the whole buy a 1 way ticket somewhere

It's been a year and here's my story...

Sam Kim
Sam Kim
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I left college and bought a 1 way ticket after sitting in my apartment and asking a random person on my facebook chat where a good place to go would be. I was told Tucson. I bought the ticket 10 minutes later and booked a flight set for a week from that day. in the 7 days, I told no one but started saying my goodbyes. It was a strange moment in life. I knew i was leaving but no one else did. However, I did crack and tell a few souls. I'm only human. But i didn't tell my parents. I just fucking left. I stayed in Tucson for exactly two weeks. I arrived on a sunday and left on a sunday. The first week was what i thought the best week of my life was. The second was what i thought the worst.


i stayed at an airbnb the first week. It was a hostel set up at a bankruptcy lawyer's house. He was very intelligent but he was strange as well. He would display high levels of aptitude but then say something insanely biased or ignorant. It was weird to experience let alone explain through writing. But the man saw something in me and favored me right off the bat. He hired me as his assistant and essentially paid me to just handle his social media. I was 23. In 2017. Social Media. 20 dollars an hour.


A couple days into the first week was Valentine's Day. On that day, I pushed myself to go out; to do something. I got a Lyft (Lyft is better than Uber in my opinion) and went to where I figured would be the most electric part of Tucson. The downtown area. I was only there for two weeks so that's as detailed as it is going to get. I walked around for awhile and observed the activity around me. I was actually used to it being in Iowa City for 5 years so I just blended in as a by stander. The whole me being on my own in a different state was setting in but in a way that made this moment in my life exciting. I walked past this alley and saw this interesting looking bar. R Bar. That name itself had an aesthetic so I wandered in.


it was very dimly lit with red laserish streaks across the walls. They were neon but not entirely. There was a definite glow. immediately, I noticed an older man in the middle of the dance floor slowly dancing to the beat with a cowboy hat on. It was interestingly compelling. I analyzed the layout of the bar and noticed they had an upstairs. Why would I not check out the upstairs? There's a grandpa cowboy dancing on the first floor, what could be in store for me on the next? Pivotal factors to my story. That's what was up there.


The upstairs was empty aside from a guy and a girl on a date on the right side and a single girl on the left. the middle area was the walk way and the second level had less lights but candles sat on top of the tables. i sat at a table not really near either of the two groups. I scrolled through my phone and realized that the girl to my left was doing the same. I felt on top of the world so of course, without hesitation, walked over to her and told her I was new to the town and I wanted to know where to go. I asked if i could sit and she faced me and then told me to sit. we conversed and she was laughing. they sounded and felt real. so it allowed me to become comfortable talking. that may have helped her as well because she loosened up and actually talked to me.


As she's telling me about what to do and what she would recommend, two more girls come from the stairs holding drinks and sit at the table I'm at. instantly asking who I was. What powerful women. I repeat myself and one of them becomes very intrigued by me. I notice this because she keeps asking me questions. some personal and curious to say the least. in this moment, Im just living and not realistically thinking more than a minute ahead. This was a bit surreal. I actually get to a point where I have all three of them laughing and I'm just telling them stories of my life. It was cool to feel that accomplishment of making people laugh. Eventually we end up outside to have a cigarette and the one who asked me about my ever living existence, approaches me and asks if i want to come over and stay the night. Not in a sexual way, her roommate who was a dude was also with us. He showed up when we all got outside. He was... interesting as well to say the least. I thought everyone in the group was going so agreed pretty quickly. I mean they didn't kidnap me or anything but looking back at this moment, I should have been more thoughtful with my decisions with strangers.

We all go to her place and I find out there are two more guys that live with her that attend University of Arizona. We all kind of get a long. We potentially smoked weed and I passed out. I woke up the next day to the sunlight of Arizona beaming on my face. I could feel dried sweat across my skin. It's noon and the girl that let me stay over comes into the living room where i slept. She looked like she was up for a bit. She then says some shit that rocked my world.

She offered me to live with them for 100 dollars a month.

Of course I fucking agreed.



to be continued.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Buying New Clothes Every Month Has Been The Key To Helping Me Become Happy With My Body Again

Loving my body in new outfits has boosted my self image so much.

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Being body-positive has been really hard for me to do throughout 2019, despite there being an overwhelming surge in body-positivity around me, whether through my friends and family or YouTube. I look in the mirror and what I see is someone I want to make a jean size or two smaller like in the past. That being said, I've slowly been coming around to accepting the body I have now, instead of bashing it constantly. A key way I've come to accept the body I'm in now is through buying myself something new every month, like a new T-shirt or a pair of jeans or sneakers that help me see myself in a positive light. When I'm in a new outfit, I feel invincible. I don't think about how pudgy my stomach is, or about the hair I have growing in random places, like my neck or on my nose (yes, not just in, but ON too).

My bank account tends to suffer as of recently because of this, but it's worth it when I can genuinely feel good in what I am wearing every day. I like to wake up and think about how many outfits I can put together, ready to post my #OOTD for Snapchat without caring what anyone thinks. I've let social media dictate how I feel about myself more than I care to admit. I see how perfect all the models are in everything they're wearing from brands I know and love, yet when I try the same thing on, it's a whole different ugly story.

I don't enjoy trying things on to avoid the shame I feel when things don't fit me right, or if something that I thought would flatter me actually makes me look like a sack of potatoes. Instagram has really hurt my body image a lot — enough to make me delete it for a week after one post sent me spiraling. Going through those bumps made me finally realize it's not my fault if something doesn't fit. Sizes range depending on the item, it's the clothing items fault, not mine. Now that I see that, it's easier to brush off something not fitting me as it should. I know my size very well in the stores I frequent the most, so it's easier for me to pick out things I know will look good and not have to worry about the sizing issue.

Buying yourself something new is not something you should limit to every few months or longer. You shouldn't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone price wise every once and a while either. Coupons exist, stories always offer you them when you first sign up to receive emails and even texts. You can be crafty and still get a high price item for less. If you treat yourself to cheap things, you won't feel half as good as you want to. Granted, sticking to a limit is important but there's no shame in going over the limit every once and a while.

I love shopping as much as I love country music and writing short stories — a lot. Yes, I get yelled at almost every time I get something new. I need to save my money for important things, like for my sorority or for medical issues that could suddenly arise, or for utilities at my house next year off campus.

However, my mental well-being is not something I can ignore.

I can't push the good feelings aside to save 30 or 40 bucks a month. I don't want to feel as low as I've felt about myself anymore. I'm tired of feeling sad or angry at who I am, and I want to learn how to accept myself as I am. Buying myself something new, like clothes, is what offers a positive light to view myself under.

Whether you treat yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant, or to face masks, or to a new movie when it comes out — don't be afraid to do it. Put yourself first and you'll realize your worth and how much you've been ignoring it in the face of poor confidence.

My confidence isn't back up to where it used to be, but it's getting there.

It may not be the most cash efficient method of self-love, but my body positivity is better than it was a few months ago. Aerie and American Eagle have really helped me become happier with my body, and I can't thank them enough for being more inclusive for people like me who are learning to love themselves again in a new body.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us hoping to promote our own body positivity, and it could all start with a simple purchase from your favorite store after you read this.

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