Have you been in a situation where you didn't compose yourself in the correct light and then you came across as something rather than what you wanted? We have mostly all been there once or twice. Instead of reacting when you are hot headed here are some suggestions to think about the situation that you are going through differently.
Listen!
This is so important. When you are communicating with someone don't listen to reply. Listen to understand them, the way you respond in the heat of an argument can either make the situation worse or better. So choose to listen, be fully present and care about what the people are saying.
Breathe
If anything, breathe, don't allow yourself to get caught up in the storm of emotions surrounding you. Take a few deep breaths and then continue on your conversation.
Ask for an explanation.
Don't demand this. Say something along the lines of "I'm not sure if I am fully understanding what you are saying, can you walk me through your feelings?" A lot of the time communication is misinterpreted and people react on what they think the individual is saying rather than what they are meaning.
Be respectful.
GiphyMost of what you are saying to the person doesn't usually come from your mouth. Your body language is a huge factor in any situation. If what is coming out of your mouth doesn't match what is being followed with your body language it doesn't matter what you're saying. Uncross your arms, stop rolling your eyes, stop fidgeting. Listen, and have your body language match what you are saying to the person.
Walk away.
If all else fails, excuse yourself from the situation. Remove yourself from it kindly. Say "I need some time to myself to cool down and collect my thoughts". But don't linger far away from the person for weeks at a time. You eventually need to face the situation. But when you do, choose kindness to compose yourself.
At the end of the day, this person is in your life because some part of you cares about them. Choose kindness as a way to express your feelings to the other person. Listen to them, and care about what they are saying. It is so important during high conflict situations to have a better perspective of the situation than to just assume what the other person is trying to say. Choose kindness in high conflict situations, you'll be better off, in the end, that way.
