Dear younger self,
I wish I could go back in time and tell you that it’s a waste of time to try to be perfect. You will never be able to achieve that and it’s okay that you can’t. I don’t want you to be anything but yourself. You are allowed to make mistakes and break down.
You put so much pressure on yourself and fail to see all the amazing things you are. First off all, you can wear whatever you want and no one is allowed to control that. You are allowed to express yourself, you are allowed to show off and love your body. Also, those braces do come off don’t worry, it’s only for two years you have them on.
Second, you are by no means an ugly person. You don’t even understand the meaning of ugly because you manage to find the beauty in everyone and everything. That’s something that is so amazing about you. You have a beautiful personality and you are physically beautiful as well. It’s okay to say you are beautiful and believe that. You are not being cocky or self-centered by loving yourself.
It’s okay to not be okay. You don’t need to smile all the time and you don’t need to act like you don’t have things going on. No one expects you to be strong all the time. It’s okay to cry and to give up from time to time. You don’t need to constantly fight a battle that affects you in more ways than one. It’s important to take of yourself and I know you want to focus on others more than yourself. You need to learn to look after yourself first.
The things that happen in your life sometimes you can’t control and you cannot blame yourself for them. They are not your fault because they are someone else’s choices not yours. You are not at fault and they do not get the joy of knowing you suffered because you swore somehow you were responsible. You can't blame yourself for their actions.
Know that it is okay to walk away when things are bad. You do not have to stay when something makes you feel scared. You don’t need to be brave because that’s what people might expect of you. It’s okay to let that mask down and show your emotions. It’s not good to hide behind that wall you built up.
You are not made of stone, you can’t survive impacts and you will get hurt. It’s okay for you to feel upset. These walls you build will push people out and cause you to act in ways you shouldn’t. You are a beautiful person and I know you will hold on to that.
Most all I hope you know that you figure all this out when you get older and it's okay that it happened this way.
