My standards are high. I know. You don't need to remind me. I have always had high standards and probably always will. In some instances, it's a bad thing. More often than I'd like to admit, they leave me feeling let down because I expect so much from others, especially myself.
From as long as I can remember, I have always been hard on myself, which often trickled to me having high expectations for relationships. I constantly told myself, and still do a lot of the time, that I have to be perfect. That not having a lot of friends means that I'm not social enough; that not having a relationship means that I'm alone. Trust me, I've thought of it all and punished myself if I didn't meet these "requirements" I set for myself.
Throughout high school, these things really seemed like a must. There's constant competition to be the smartest, prettiest, have the best clothes, or the most friends. It's basically impossible to not be tough on yourself and set unobtainable standards. Perfection is all that is acceptable, but unfortunately, perfection is an impossible goal that far too many strive to meet.
As I've grown up and gone to college, I find that I still have high standards. However, with maturity and reality looming just around the corner, my expectations and standards have changed their meaning. Having high standards can actually be a good thing. It means that I won't settle. That I won't take the easy way out. That I will always try my absolute hardest to make sure that I am making the most our of my life experiences and relationships.
I have begun to understand that not only will I not meet every expectation I have, but that my friends and relationships won't meet all of them either. Everyone makes mistakes; I certainly have in friendships. So it shouldn't be a surprise for us if our friends make mistakes too. We're all human.
Now don't get me wrong, you should not get rid of every single standard you have. If you don't expect anything from yourself or others, then you will not have relationships or accomplishments that mean anything to you. Having those high standards are important, but they should not come at the cost of your happiness and feelings of self-worth.
Being "perfect" should not be equivalent to having high standards. No one has, is or will ever be perfect. I now realize that just being myself is good enough to get through the days, so there's no need to add yourself to the list of people who want you to fail.
High standards are perfectly fine, as long as you use them to boost you up and not accept less than you deserve. You have endless possibilities in all aspects of your life. And your standards should reflect that.
