Going into my senior year of high school, I thought that I had my life figured out. I was going to row on a college scholarship at a school as far away from home as possible. Like a majority of teenagers from my little town of Wyandotte, Michigan, I had the desire to get as far away from the home as soon as possible. I was considering multiple schools, but the schools at the top of my list were Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas and the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. These were the only two schools that I originally took recruiting trips to. This was an exciting and over-whelming time in my life.
It felt exhilarated that NCAA Division 1 schools wanted to not only offer me a spot on their team, but help pay for my tuition as well. I had already convinced myself that I would not be good enough to swim in college, I was determined to convince myself that rowing was the right fit for me. I loved both of the schools that I visited and I enjoyed meeting the people, but something deep down just did not feel right. However, I pushed this feeling beneath the surface and tried to ignore the truth that I wanted desperately to swim in college. I just was not in love with rowing the way that I was (and still am) in love with swimming.
This remained a dark secret as I continued to talk to college rowing coaches. My family and friends were convinced that I was all in and were more excited for me at that point than I was for myself. The weekend after I had my trip to SMU I had a trip to the University of Minnesota. I was thrown into an utter culture shock. It was my first time visiting a Big Ten campus and it seemed like such a big deal. I decided on the trip that I was going to verbally commit to the U of M rowing team. My friend Clare rowed at Michigan State and loved it, so I figured that I would love rowing if I went to a Big Ten school as well.
At this point I was trying to be someone that I was not. I did not have any strong feelings about going to college at Minnesota. Unfortunately, it was easy to convince my family and friends that this was what I really wanted. I put on a good show and had everyone convinced that I was going to be a Big Ten rower. During this time I was also smack-dab in the middle of my senior year swim season and everything was going fantastic. I was dramatically dropping time in all of my events and I fell more in love with swimming during every practice and was devastated at the thought of this being my last time ever swimming.
After conference my mom sat me down and asked me "Lexi, are you sure that you don't want to swim in college?" I finally broke down and confessed that I had wanted to swim all along. Everything from there moved rather quickly. That night we drove to my coach's house and told her about what I wanted to do and asked for guidance. Within a week I was talking to college swim coaches and putting myself out there. One of the hardest things that I have ever done was call the Minnesota coach a mere week before I was supposed to officially sign, but the moment I hung up I felt free for the first time in months. Later that month at the State swim meet, I was just able to focus on my swimming without the stress of it being my last time ever swimming.
I went on to go on several visits for schools, this time looking for ones where I could do the sport that I truly loved. I am almost a year later at the University of Illinois at Chicago swimming for a Division 1 school. I still got away from my town, but here I am close enough that if there is an emergency I can be home in about five and a half hours. I get to do what I love while also receiving a great education. I love my team and have met some fantastic people so far. I am happy to have a home away from home and a second family.
