In the last year, I have learned a lot about myself. I guess that is just part of growing up. Throughout this time, I have been through some difficult situations. These range from losing some really good friends, my parents’ divorce, losing my dog, and just hating everything about myself.

During all of this chaos, I was diagnosed with depression. That was something that I did not necessarily want to hear.

With being diagnosed, came the fact, I had to get better, and I wanted to do it on my own, with no medication.

Every person goes through a trying time in their life that will either make them stronger, or destroy them to a point of no return. As I sat and reflected on the events that were going on in my life, I took note of a few key things that I had to realize.

• Happiness is very easy to fake and that is not a good thing

I found myself waking up every day unhappy but forcing myself to smile. It was so easy for me to put up a front and act like nothing was wrong even when I felt like the entire universe was falling down around me. Instead of reaching out for help, it can be easier to pretend that the issues are not there and try to live life day to day in hopes that nothing else goes wrong. Faking that I was happy was a hard habit to kick. Letting people in was something I had zero faith in, but something I have learned I need to do from time to time.

• The only person you can depend on is yourself

Yes, family and friends can be there for you, but they don’t always pick up when you call. You yourself have to learn what helps and hurts in a situation. Making a decision when it comes to your personal health is something that only you can do. Throughout time, people that you once depended on for everything will walk out of your life. When that happens, you have to learn to handle things without them, so it is easier to train your brain now just in case that moment does come.

• Recovery is possible, if you are willing to try.

It’s very easy to want to just give up. Fighting through things can be difficult and tiring. Each situation that a person faces either makes or breaks them. Giving up is easy to do, but if you can fight hard enough to break the habits and overcome the fears, life is so beautiful.

• It is okay to cry and be angry

Being upset or angry is normal, as long as it does not become a constant state of mind. Crying is a regular thing that everyone does now and again. It’s also a huge stress relief so there’s no need to hold back the water works.

Anger is also a very normal emotion that everybody feels. Being upset or mad at someone is something that is okay to feel, but is something that has to be worked through so that bitterness does not become a daily attitude.

• Loving yourself is key

This is easier said than done, but it is something everybody needs to strive for in life. Loving yourself is so important. At 20 years old, I struggle with this concept the most. It is easy to be down on yourself or blame yourself when things get rough but that does not help whatsoever. As humans, we are all flawed, we all make mistakes, but we cannot go around hating ourselves. Every morning, I try to tell myself one thing that I like about myself. I also try to never repeat the same compliment in hopes that one day, I will be fully content with the person I have become.