Dear Ex “Best Friend,”

I want to say hi to you, it’s been awhile now. I miss you. Sadly know that deep down you don’t care. I only hope, though, that there’s a small part of you that misses me or at least the good memories we made together. I cherish the memories we made, all the shopping trips and all the sleepovers. There wasn’t a day where we didn’t exchange a pointless text message or have a full conversation with just memes. We could tell each other anything and everything. We had great times, and I’m sorry we can’t have those anymore. You were in my plans for the future, but you changed. I forgive you, but there’s still hurt in my heart and I am trying to heal on my own.

I can’t believe our wonderful friendship ended so poorly, and for what? Over absolutely nothing. I don’t understand where I went wrong or what I did to make you resent me. You used the terrible situation I was in against me; you used what I couldn’t help to hurt me. The worst thing is that you used it as an excuse to cut me off. I was in a world of pain. What happened to best friends staying through thick and thin? As soon as things got thick, you flaked. Too much time has passed; it’s too late now, because at the time we had no room to forgive each other.

When I lost you, I felt as if I lost apart of myself. During that time when I was alone, I learned a few things. I learned how to improve myself, how to forgive others and how to love myself. For this, I thank you. Thank you for the heartache, because I would’ve never learned my worth and value without it. I would’ve never learned how to tell myself that I am strong enough to pull myself from the lowest of lows. Thank you for being my best friend for a time. Thank you for being encouraging and supportive. Thank you for listening to me when I was upset. Thank you for the endless advice about relationships. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on. And thank you for being my partner in crime. You were everything I needed in a friend.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. I only hope that you’re doing well, and that the man you’re dating doesn’t break your heart. I only hope the best for you. I hope that you will eventually find time to return to college like you talked about, and I hope that you find your dream career. I hope a new best friend comes into your life and can make the memories we never had the opportunity to make. I also hope that your new best friend can be everything I wasn’t. If I ever ran into you, I would probably still try to talk to you, no matter how awkward the conversation would be. I would still try to talk, because I do still care. Maybe one day I will have that chance to make small conversation with you, have a chance to hear about all the amazing things you’ve done since we’ve stopped talking. Maybe I will never have that chance. Whatever it may be, there was a reason you came into my life just as there’s a reason you left.

Just so you know, I’m not mad at you anymore. I’ve forgiven you. I wish you the best health, and I wish you happiness.

Sincerely,

Your Ex- BFF

"You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them...but still move on without them."
-Mandy Hale