Yes, I am shy. I always have been. Growing up, I had a hard time meeting new people. I remember when we would have company over our house and I would be too scared to go over and say hi. To this day it is still not easy for me to just walk up and introduce myself to a random stranger. But being shy affects me more than just how I deal with people. My shyness is by far my biggest weakness, and it has been a problem that I have dealt with my whole life and a problem I continue to fight to this day.
Many people consider shyness and being introverted to be the same thing, but there is a big distinction. Introverts prefer to be antisocial, while a shy person avoids social interaction out of fear. I sometimes consider myself both, but I see my introversion as more of a strength and my shyness as a weakness. There are parts of being an introvert that I can relate to, such as not being a fan of small talk—but as soon as you bring up something I love, I'll talk for days. I look at my introversion as a cool trait of mine. On the other hand, shyness to me is more of a bad habit and one that sets me back when it comes to social interactions. I often tend to keep quiet and not say much whenever I enter a new environment out of fear of rejection. There have been many times where I allowed my shyness to get the better of me and let it keep me from even going into a place, because I allowed my fear of rejection to get the best of me and gave up without even trying. I remember being too afraid once to pick up a job application and having to have my friend get it for me. Even something as simple as asking if I could have a friend over would take me a long time to do just because I was afraid to hear "no" and too shy to ask. Little instances like that show how I have let my shyness hold me back for a very long time.
My shyness has also been an easy weakness of others to see and take advantage of. Growing in middle school and high school, I was always looked at and judged as that weird quiet kid. People often took my quietness for weirdness. They would look at me and think there was something wrong with me. I was an easy target for bullying, and thankfully it never got serious or physical, but it still showed. People often talked down to me like I was an alien from another planet. And when I did talk and speak up, it surprised people. By the end of high school and beginning of college, I did begin to grow out of my shell and became more outspoken, but there was always that little hint of shyness that seemed to always stick with me.
Don't get me wrong, I have gotten better when it comes to talking to people and meeting new people, but that first step in simply introducing myself is always the hardest. But my shyness not only affects me when it comes to strangers; it affects me when dealing with the ones that I am close to. I have, and always have, had a hard time being open with my emotions. I have a hard time telling people how I really feel about them, just because I am always afraid of how they will react, and I always assume the worst possible thing. Even with my family, I still find it hard to give a family member a hug and a kiss. I find it hard to give my friends hugs sometimes, just because I never know how they will react. Whether it is my best friend or my little sister, I have always had a problem with showing my emotions, both verbally and physically. It is an issue that has held me back for a long time and has prevented me from having much of a love life as well. I have a hard time getting close to people, and I let my shyness and my insecurities scare me away from any potential relationship, whether it'd be romantic or not. Especially if it is someone I am just getting to know and be close with, I still have a hard time letting that person know exactly how I feel and because of that, I have never been able to take that next step and pursue a serious relationship. I can care a whole lot about someone, but unless I say something, they will never know and I need to follow my own advice and just say it already. My shyness has always been my greatest weakness, and it has held me down from being truly happy for most of my life.
I know now that if I am to get anywhere in life, I have to leave my shyness behind me. I cannot sit back and let it hold me back any longer. I have already missed out on so much because of it and I cannot allow it to continue any longer. If I want to get a job, I need to have the confidence to walk into that office, hand in a resume, and tell them that I am the right person for that job. If I like someone, I need to have the confidence to tell them how I really feel and hopefully things will turn out well. Now this is not just for me, but for all of those out there who have been crippled by their own shyness. Know that you are not alone, and you can and will beat it. You need to find that confidence in yourself and realize that you have greatness in you, and you need to let it out and share it with the rest of the world. Don't allow your shyness to keep you down any longer!! I know that I am ready to take that next step and leave my shyness behind, and I hope there are others out there ready to take that next step as well. Believe in yourself that you can take that next step and leave that big bag of rocks known as shyness behind and walk with confidence. My next step is following my own advice and taking that first step, and if I can do then you can do it too. So leave your shyness behind. Take that next step into a better and happier world.
