When I was a freshman at Biola University, I had a plan to get a large amount of credits complete before senior year so that my final semester would be a light load of work. I figured, "Why finish the school year off with a large workload when you can spend it with your friends and with yourself?" Unfortunately, that did not go as planned as I went through three different majors within 2-and-a-half years. Fast forward to now, I have 18 units (6 classes total) while balancing an internship and three jobs. As if that was not enough, I was also taking three online classes from January to April to transfer them over and graduate on time. The total amount was 27 units (9 classes) and 5 jobs/internships. Not the final semester I was expecting. I was so busy throughout the final semester that my weekends were booked with homework and any amount of free-time that I had, I was either relaxing, hanging with friends, or sleeping. While I have become more flexible and organized with time management over the past year, I have also become disorganized in my overall life.

While all this work was necessary considering that I was graduating, part of this reason for busyness was due to a relationship breakup I endured the previous semester. Because the pain was still fresh from the hurt and emotional pain I was in, I did the most cliché thing possible: I kept myself busy. Along with homework, I wrote and published film reviews through Geeks Under Grace, wrote and published weekly articles through Odyssey, began working out, and volunteered to work on film sets on campus. While these are not necessarily bad things, I did this all with the wrong intentions. Sure, my academic life was on on point and I did enjoy my jobs, but all of that came at the price of putting God off to the side.

Despite the fact that I was doing well for myself academically and at work, my social life began to suffer greatly along with my walk with God. What caught my attention of just how much of a workaholic I became was when I came home one day around 7pm on a Monday. My family was surprised to see me due to the fact that I normally would come home around 12am after finishing work and school. When I explained how I was able to come home early, my younger brother responded, "Finally, you're never here anymore." At first I laughed but I thought about it more throughout the day. A few weeks later, I came home in the mid-afternoon to fetch a few books and to get some lunch. Mom thought I was home for the rest of the day and when I said I was only home for 10-15 minutes, she responded, "Well, that's no surprise." I did not question it at first since I did not want to enter into a debate with my mom. Throughout that week however, it laid on my mind of just how much I was consumed by work and school. It came to the point where I could hardly relax on the weekends without the anxious thought that I needed to get work done and responsibilities taken care of.

To be honest, I was quite surprised by my mother's choice of words. My parents have wanted me to take on more responsibility the past few years since I was coming closer and closer to graduation. Now that I have become busy, they all of a sudden have a problem with it. I was pretty upset by their reactions. It was not as if I was out only spending time with friends or doing something that would not be beneficial to my overall life. I was actually working and making something of myself. That was when I realized that not only was I falling away from my family and even a number of my friends, but I was also falling away from God.

There is a saying that I once heard. "If the Devil doesn't make you bad, he will make you busy," meaning that if Satan cannot cause you to rebel against God, he will make you too busy for God. My devotional life began spiraling downhill while my prayer life was shallow. I could tell that there was little significance in my prayers to God, yet decided not to focus on it too much thinking it was not a big deal.

Over spring break, I talked with a close friend about my life and I began to open up about some difficulties. I told him that I had a huge difficulty trying to finish my online classes on-time so that I could graduate and that the pressure was getting to me. I told him that I had been praying but had not felt anything from God. He responded in a loving yet truthful way as any close friend should. He responded with a rhetorical question, asking "Trey, you are praying to God for help when you hardly give Him time. How can you expect God to bless you when you do not bless God with your time?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. Despite the time I tried to make for God, I knew then that I could have done so much more to build and deepen my relationship with Him. From then on, we had a long three hour talk about it along with other areas of life but of everything that he said, those words specifically played around in my head that night.

When I came home from spring break, I began to catch up on homework that was due. Before getting started, I prayed a long prayer not just for focus but also in repentance of my lack of time to give to God. From 9am-5pm, I finished multiple assignments along with half a research paper. I honestly could not believe it! Throughout that week and after, I began to pray and spend more time with God despite the business of my schedule. Slowly but surely I began to feel less anxious as God removed it from me and I felt more at peace with myself knowing that I was giving all to God and doing my work for His glory. Along with this, I began to make more time for friends and family, which honestly felt great due to how much work I had. I am still busy since the semester is still in progress, but I feel more at peace with myself than I did before.

Having responsibilities is not a bad thing. If you love what you do, whether it is your job or your major in college, then take advantage of the opportunities to grow more in your field. God gives us gifts and abilities to use and they should not be wasted. If God is not at the center, however, we begin to lose site of why we have these responsibilities and opportunities in the first place and that is because God gave them to us. That should be all more the reason to give God time, focus, and more importantly, the glory in our success of our accomplishments and trials. To those who are seniors, I greatly understand the struggle of finishing strong and preparing for the adult life. Do not lose sight of why you are here and who brought you this far in your life. Keep God at the center and He will bless in ways you could not have imagined.