Dear boy at the bar,
I see you looking at me from a distance, and to be completely honest, I'm flattered. There are several beautiful girls in this bar, and you're looking at me. So thank you; I appreciate it.
But in all honesty, I came out for a girls' night. I know that sounds so cliche and girls use it as an excuse, but I genuinely do not want to have a random hook-up or to be hit on by someone who will not remember my name or what I look like the next morning.
Now you've sent your friends over, which is kind of cute. Seems like you're shy, but I just can't do this. It's not you, it's definitely me and the fact that I am three tequila shots and a couple drinks deep. So when I tell your friends no, I'm not saying it as a joke.
You're all whispering now and trying to pretend like you're not looking at me. But you're drunk, and not very sly... I can see you. To your friends: please stop giving him encouragement to talk to me even though I already told you no. To you: please recognize that I feel uncomfortable. I should never feel uncomfortable by your stares or words.
You must have found some encouragement in that 11th beer because you're standing in front of me. I am trying to be polite, but you're being difficult. I don't do difficult. This casual conversation is nice and all, but I really want to talk to my girls. So please, when I respectfully end the conversation and turn back to my friends, just walk away.
My friends and I are now leaving the bar, and you decide to grab your friends and follow us out the front door. I really thought that maybe, just maybe, you'd be polite. But those extra shots you took just set you over the roof. Now you're yelling at me, "Baby come back, lemme buy you a drink and we can just go back to my place and cuddle." Now come on. Please find some ounce of pride, turn around and walk your drunk self back inside.
When I said no, I wasn't trying to hurt you. I wasn't saying that there is something wrong with you. But there was everything wrong with the timing, how things were handled and the fact that we were both drinking.
So no, you can't have my number. No, I won't tell you my name or add you on Snapchat. And no, I will not be going home with you or anyone else tonight.
Sincerely,
My Name is No.