I've always been a visionary..
Any room I walk into, I find myself being the optimist of the group. If you could peek a glimpse into my thoughts, you'd come across one- too-many contemplations of "what if(s)?" or several "I wonder(s)..." floating around. Late at night, I'm the girl who's laying her in bed dreaming of the future; attempting to picture myself with a husband who shares an equal amount of infinite love for the Lord as me, having a stabilized occupation, building a family of my own, and always carelessly laughing because I am genuinely happy.. I like seeking the potential this world has in store for me. But I don't do this for just myself, either. I LOVE envisioning the outcomes of my friend's futures; where will they be in 10 years? Will they move out of state? Who will be the first to become engaged? I can't help but ponder the infinite amount of wonder they bring to the table.
This is part of who I am. I question everything. Not because I enjoy doubting things, but because I prefer viewing life from not a narrow-minded perspective, but through a kaleidoscope: a view with ever changing spectrums!
I'd be lying if I said I never doubt myself. Sometimes I momentarily forget the potential I have, the blessings I've been given, the motivation I once embodied. I occasionally reach a low point(s), where I feel as though I'm constantly running in circles crying out "HELP ME! PLEASE! I'M SO LOST!" until someone, or something redirects my focus. I'll lose sight of the brighter side of life I am intended to live, taking a wrong turn on the road of greatness I'm destined for. I end up questioning my self-worth, degrading myself to the point where I, myself, ultimately become my own worst enemy and lose all confidence I once carried.
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
When my ship is sinking, I swim; I will swim for hours, days, or even months until I can no longer feel my arms and my entire body reaches it's breaking point. Everytime I reach that "breaking point", or moment of depletion, I feel as I cannot avoid the rising tides and building currents of my sea. Like my ship I begin to sink, sometimes quicker than others. But I have never reached the ocean's bottom before being pulled back to surface and reunited with my beautiful sand beaches. I don't swim to the surface, but am towed, carried, supported back to reality by my lifeguards.
My lifeguards: my faith, family, friends, future are all my motivators. My lifeguards go beyond just motivating me. They support me when I make rational decisions, or take risk. They remind me that brighter days exist, and that with patience comes greatness. They ALWAYS guide me back to the path where I belong, constantly reminding me of my potential and that my worth is so much more than I think. They push me beyond my self-laid limits proving to me that I am capable of so much more in this life. They test my strengths and challenge me to be the best possible version of myself as possible. Most importantly, they love me. They love me despite my flaws, my mistakes, my never-ending list of imperfections, etc. Their love is what carries me in this life. Without them, I would be empty.
My lifeguards are my people.
To my people:
Thank you. Thank you for working over-time. Thank you for dealing with my melt-downs, my rants, my attitude, and every other trouble I cause. Thank you for loving me for who I am, and never failing to show me otherwise! Thank you for being my backbone, my structure. Thank you for never letting me sink. Thank you for always being the hand I can reach for when times get tough. Thank you for being the sunshine in my life, and for providing days with endless sunshine and year round summer seasons. Thank you for always listening, even if it's 3:00 am. Thank you for ensuring me that my future is bright, and that overthinking it won't change the outcome.
Thank you.
YOU deserve to be recognized, you help my world go round, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
XOXO,
M.C.L
