Dear Anxiety,

You weren't always here. In fact, I don't exactly remember when you crept up on me. What I do remember is when fear became prominent in my life. I remember being a very happy-go-lucky child with absolutely no care in the world. But, as time went on, you inched your way into my being, my thoughts, and my daily emotions. You decided to take complete control. You continually lied to me, telling me that my situations were terrifying, or too difficult to handle. Busy schedules, large amount of homework, difficulties in relationships, crowded rooms, awkward social encounters, meeting new people, decisions, huge tasks, and so on, scared me beyond words. You left me feeling helpless, alone, out of breath and in utter tears, as if there was no possibility in the entire world that I could conquer anything.

The worst part about having anxiety is the fact that everything is intensified. Every feeling is felt deeper and every life event feels bigger. Overthinking is prominent in those who suffer from anxiety. It's as if someone's life situations or feelings are on constant circulation, to the point where something very small can be turned into something great in that person's mind. A small problem can be flipped into a huge problem in just a matter of seconds. Those who don't suffer from anxiety have a hard time understanding the gut-wrenching feeling of always feeling anxious, but most have experienced it at one time or another. The worst part is that I let you completely control me. You controlled every single thought and feeling, to the point where I felt as if I was drowning, or suffocating...even on my very best days.

Well guess what?

You no longer have control anymore.

You no longer have control, because I have found hope. Hope in that, while you tell me I'm weak, God says I'm strong. While you continually scream at me that I must fall down, God whispers that He will always pick me right back up. I may bend, but I will never ever break, because there is hope beyond the fearful thoughts always screaming at me. There is hope beyond the worry, negativity and terrifying anxiety attacks. You know longer have the wheel, and you never will again.

The Bible says in John 14:27

Peace I leave to you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

God promises me peace. You promise me worry, stress, and constant pain. I choose peace.

And the greatest truth of the matter is, that when I lean on hope, there is absolutely no room for pain.

So, as a final goodbye, I'm giving you up.

Setting myself free.