Someone asked me recently, "Evan, if your Tinder profile were entirely honest, what would you say?" And that got me thinking: what would my honest Tinder profile be? What is it that I have about myself that makes me "special" or "desirable", if you choose to use that vernacular? I've been having a rough time figuring that out recently. So, here goes nothing.
I'm a busy individual. Most of my life consists of running around and doing things, and I love that. Try and keep up. I say that I love to go on adventures, and I mean that to a degree, but I think that a quality adventure is one where you learn about yourself in the process. I have adventures every day. It can be as mundane, for me, as trying something different at a coffee shop, to try and brighten my food horizons. It could be finally reading that giant autobiography of Alexander Hamilton cause I've got a penchant for American history. It could be falling too hard in love with someone and discovering the adventure of trying to navigate that. Try and keep up.
I'm an artist, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Yes, I am, in fact, the person that will break out in song in the middle of a public place. Or on a bus. Or in the middle of a library. No shame in my game. Let's just cut the stereotype that all I listen to is show tunes because I work in the theatre: that's not true in the slightest. My music tastes, like most things in this world, are varied. Some days, all I want to listen to (on repeat, mind you) is We Didn't Stop the Fire. On days when I'm not in the best mood, I'll put on some Disturbed. Yeah, I'll even put on some rap, if I feel so inclined. I love different varieties of art, and I want someone who will appreciate art with me. I want someone who finds me losing my ever loving shit in the middle of Target when my favorite song comes on endearing, not annoying. So, if this all sounds like a burden to you, firmly swipe left.
I love food. Food and I have a good thing going on. Don't kid yourself: I'm never gonna look like Channing Tatum. I will not have abs for days. At all. Ever. On a really good day, I'll look a lot like Andy Dwyer from "Parks and Rec" and that's absolutely fine with me. I'll eat anything with you. I don't believe that Lima beans are an actual food. Or green peas. Those two things are inferior foods. They deserve a special place in whatever you consider to be "Hell", and firmly stay there. Let's get food sometime.
I don't know what I'm looking for right now. I don't know if I want a relationship. I dunno if I want to meet the one person I'm "meant to spend the rest of my life with", if that even exists. I just want you to be kind. I just want you to like my family. I just want you to be able to hang out with me on my couch with some dogs and it not phase you. I want someone who will also yell at me when I get too into a cooking show cause, most of the times, those ingredients don't go in a cupcake and you cannot convince me otherwise. I want someone who will take BuzzFeed quizzes with me at 3am while I vehemently deny that I am in no way, shape, or form Monica Geller from Friends...we all know I'm a mix of Chandler and Phoebe. Just like me for me, and nothing else. That's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know.
Think you can do that for me? Well then, you know what to do...
