There is a baseball stadium a few miles from my home. When I was young, my parents took to the games. The air was always heavy, the metal bleachers were sticky with beer, and my interest would get lost five minutes after the National Anthem. But at the end of the games fireworks would light up the sky, and I would crane my neck to take in the magical show. Although the games did not enthrall me like the firework shows did, they are still sweet childhood memories that I like to dig up once in a while.
That “once in a while” happened last night when my dad and I went to our neighborhood Publix Supermarket. While in the parking lot, fireworks from the baseball game began exploding beyond the strip mall, just above the dark salon, and nostalgia flooded my body. In three months I am moving from my sleepy hometown for the first time in my life and moving to one of the biggest cities in the world, New York City. So there I stood, in the flickering glow of the parking lot light, struck by this thought; I am leaving every familiar place and person - shedding that comfort for something new and unknown.
Yes, I am beyond excited to start my adult life in New York. But putting 1,000 miles of distance between me and everyone I love is a weird thought. I have never lived anywhere other than this corner of Florida. When I need to get away from people, I shell out a few dollars to rent a bike on Sanibel Island. My “office space” is Barnes and Noble, where I recognize the other patrons and know the best place to sit. I know my route to work like the back of my hand. I guess the idea of becoming familiar with new routines is difficult for me to imagine.
A few weeks ago, I struggled with doubtful inner dialogue. I like to think that I enjoy being out of my comfort zone, but what if it’s too much? What if I have to come home? What if I fail massively? What if I’m not ready?
I probably will fail massively. It is going to be difficult, but worth it. I will never be “ready” for New York City (is anyone, really?). Despite these thoughts, I am jumping into this magnificent city. I’ve been dreaming about this move since I was a wide-eyed 15-year-old meeting the city for the first time. Leaving home is going to be strange and exciting, but I will find my way in this new way of life. I’ll find new places and become familiar with them. Strangers will become friends and my dreams will become reality, but I will never forget my hometown.
