Yes, you read that right. I put my happiness first and no it is not selfish.
My mom says it's selfish of me to put my needs and wants above that of others. And while I agree with her to an extent, let me explain why I don't.
Mental health is very real and so is mental illnesses. I learned a long time ago that if I want to be truly happy that I am going to have to make myself happy first. As long as I am relying on others to make me happy, then I am also relying on them to decide when I am unhappy. And there is nothing I could do to change if I am happy or not.
Also, if I'm unhappy then it's going to affect those around me. Not only will it affect how I treat them in the short term, it could affect our relationship in the long term.
In order for me to be the best possible version of myself, I have to be truly happy and only I can ensure that I have that happiness. And if I am truly happy, then that will not only be visible to others, but happiness is infectious and it will hopefully rub off on them.
It is no one's responsibility to make me happy except my own.
And that is why my happiness comes first and why it is not selfish.