It is obvious that to overcome a flaw, you must first recognize you have it. I am a person who, I will admit, has many flaws. I can have little patience, be sassy, or even straight-up rude at times. Why my greatest flaw is my greatest because it's the hardest to admit, and hardest to change. Because if you can block your emotions from the people around you to not worry them and keep them happy, why wouldn't you, right?
Wrong. Being vulnerable is the best trait a human could have, and it's one I don't have - this is my biggest flaw.
There is something in me, rock hard, that despises the thought of being pitied or worried about or exposed. From when I was little and didn't tell my parents when I felt sick because I hated being asked if I was okay, to now, doing that still and hiding any negative emotions I might have with a happy front every day, I have believed it is easier. Easier to keep it to yourself because it can be pushed to the side and ignored easily. This I still believe holds true. When you share your feelings and thoughts with your loved ones, they worry about you and they want you to be okay because they care about you. And for this reason, no problem will be left forgotten.
Being stubborn to vulnerability, it is so difficult for me to give an honest answer to "how are you?" or "is anything wrong?" my answer is instinctively "great!!" or "no!!" It is just a practice of mine to hide what I'm really feeling. Being happy makes the people around me happy, so I never want to burden them with anything.
However, over the years I have wondered. Before I knew this was my biggest flaw, i always wondered how others were about to handle life so effortlessly. And I realized that when you are vulnerable to other people, your heart is open. When you are able to cry harder, you are also able to laugh harder. You are able to feel every emotion to its fullest. You can move forward from the struggles in life hand in hand, and hold those hands up in celebration of the joys in life.
If you're not a vulnerable person, don't be mad at yourself. I have spent so much time asking myself why I can't be more open. I have good friends, a good family - people who would listen. However, it just is a personality. It just is the way I am. There will always be a part of me who closes off to those I love... but realizing that vulnerability is not a weakness opens so many doors. Slowly being able to be honest and raw every day with the people in your life is a game changer. Be fully happy, nervous, excited, sad, angry - just BE - fully and wholeheartedly.
