My Golden Calf

My Golden Calf

Abandoning the Right Faith for the Wrong Certainty
59
views

As I was praying to God about what to write about this week, and resorting to the ill-advised yet surprisingly helpful technique of opening a random page of the Bible and reading, I came across the story of Moses as we climbed Mount Sinai and was given the Ten Commandments. I understood the story perfectly; I'd heard it before after all. While Moses was either climbing up or down from Mount Sinai, the Israelites at the bottom became anxious and asked a mysterious man, Aaron, to give them a new god that would go before them. "As for this fellow Moses who brought us out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him," they said. Aaron told them to give him the earrings of their wives, sons, and daughters, and with a tool, fashioned a golden calf. Then the Israelites, looking upon this golden idol, declared, "These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt."

The story was clear and yet...I was STUCK. I started to panic; something usually clicked in me about this time when I reach the end of a story, sometimes not even needing to finish before His inspiration spurs my mouth to speak and fingers to type. Surely, the spark would come anytime now...anytime...any...time...NOW. I stared at the pages of God's book and anger swirled in me at the blankness of my mind. What was He trying to say? How exactly was this story supposed to relate to my life? What was I supposed to say about this story if God did indeed want me to expand on it? Finally, I just closed the book and went about my day, occasionally praying for God to give me an update on any progress He'd made on giving me the words for my article. Still no reply. A seldom prayer: "Anytime God," I told Him.

More waiting...waiting...waiting. Another prayer: "You just gonna leave me hanging?" More anger...waiting...anger...more waiting. The last prayer: "Okay, fine. I guess I don't have an article." I watched the clock tick past midnight. It was Saturday, and I in bitter contempt, watched my perfect record of submissions go up in smoke. Then, as I was sitting on the couch the next day, watching "The Golden Girls," the words came to me: My golden calf. It's me! It took me days of contemplation and regrettably a late deadline for me to come to a real-life application, proving just how deeply and significantly this story affects my life and my relationship with God, as I suspect He already knew. How long do we wait for God before we say, "God, you're taking too long. I'm moving on?"

Thinking of "The Golden Calf" in retrospect changed everything. God has just released the Israelites from slavery. He has directed His wrath against the oppressors of His people. He has made rivers run with blood, hurled fire from the heavens, sent biting insects and locusts and wild animals across the land, struck boils and disease. He has ravaged livestock and spread darkness over the land of Egypt. He claimed the firstborn. He shielded them from the angel of death! He has parted the Red Sea, and now, He has promised them a beautiful and fertile land of milk and honey. After having the privilege to witness God's justice and command, to have any skeptical explanation wither in the face of His awesomeness, the Israelites make an idol because Moses is taking too long coming down from a mountain?! It was infuriating...or it had been before the connection came in that unsuspecting moment. Then it was just sad.

I am on a journey of my own; I am coming from my own land of slavery to sin to God's promise land of salvation, and that day, I was forced to wait. Whatever was supposed to happen, I didn't know; I was at the bottom of the mountain with no far view. All I had were the promises God made to me and the troubles and hardships he had gotten me out of to sustain me. I'd learned that in times of doubt, reading the Bible would more often than not give me the answer I needed, and I needed an answer desperately. I also knew the Bible could be a challenging; meditation and reflection go a long way in understanding a scripture. Instant inspiration doesn't always come, but the one time in a while that I came across a piece of doctrine that didn't click, did I pray to God for patience? No. Did I pray to God for understanding? No. Did I pray for guidance in case I'd misunderstood? No. I prayed to God to hurry up, and when He didn't, I turned away.

I was left on my own to uphold my faith and trust in God's deliverance for a few days and I faltered, no better than the Israelites who desired "a god to go before them" than waiting for Moses to descend a mountain. My golden calf isn't made of gold. It's not even a calf. It is a human girl named Ashley, and I turn to her every time I falter in my faith, choosing to trust in her potential failure than God's uncertain success. I have a big day of confession ahead of me, but in light of a well-spent word count, I'll say the most important: Thank you God, and please forgive me.

Cover Image Credit: Marymagdalen.blogspot.com

Popular Right Now

To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

696195
views

To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

My Relationship With Religion Will Never Be Black And White

and that's okay!

518
views

I was raised Christian let's get that out the way. Growing up in a small town I went to Awana (a children's church group Wednesday nights) and then once I was in middle school started youth group that night instead as well as a normal church on Sundays. If you would ask me from me being really young to probably around 15 I was all about church and building a relationship with God.

After leaving public school and growing my presence online and meeting so many people from all walks of life, I started questioning things.

Suddenly, I was immersed in this community with the best people who just loved everyone regardless of gender or sexuality or race and it was the place I was able to come to terms with something I had always repressed, my feelings towards girls.

I knew the moment I started talking to a girl named Laura that I had feelings for her I would normally have for a boy and because of the people I now had around me I just didn't suppress it. I identified online and eventually to family and friends as bisexual.

My questions started with wondering how my god this loving all knowing entity I had always known was un-accepting and promoted the exclusion of the LGBTQ+ community from the Christian faith. I knew that this community was full of the most loving and creative and beautiful people I have ever met and that was the start of me knowing my relationship with God would never be the same.

As I grew up and have become an activist for the things that mean a lot to me I have stopped attending church and have begun to see that I do not want any part in ANY religion that takes part in shunning anyone based on how they identify. I have been vocal about this to many people some more excepting then others but regardless I will never again take part in something that I myself am not 100% accepted within

Related Content

Facebook Comments