It’s a cool night in December, and currently, I’m sitting in my room doing the math to see how hard I can fail the exam and still pass this one class I have a final for. Well, my friends, we’re in the final stretch of the semester, and freedom is only one (or a few) test(s) away. It’s been a long year, with its almost euphoric ups and its earth shattering downs, I can say that I’m glad to see this year come to a close.
I suppose you can say the same. As time goes on, people change. It’s just a simple rule of life. The question is, have you liked the change you’ve seen yourself go through? I hope you did. If you didn't, I hope that time finds you well, and you can find some peace of mind along the way. Trust me, I know it hurts, but it’ll be okay.
The best part about growing older is the time. Being 18, I know that I have so much left to do in the world; for you, it’s the same thing. You still have time to get better, to get worse. To rise, to fall, to experiment, to get in trouble; we have time. Even if it goes by fast, what really matters is how we use it.
At the start of the semester I was but a lowly freshman, a small fish in a big pond, if you will. I had no idea what was going on with myself. I was lost, confused, and heavily in the need of some sleep. I was stuck in a major I had no passion for. It was bad; I was miserable.
Now, at the end of semester, I’m in a major that I could see myself progressing in for the rest of my academic life, and for many years after that. The security of knowing that gives me hope for next year. I hope you can find something to hold onto along the way. With all of these changes, you forget how much has happened since you first started growing. Is it even worth looking back?
The answer to that is mixed, of course. Yes, in the sense that you can go over past mistakes and learn from them; no, in the sense that reflection is often painful, even if the truths yielded are worth it. There’s always been a weird line in between thinking and feeling. When you think of the past, you often find yourself encompassed in the same emotions you had in that exact moment; this is shown in music too. If you had a song that you listened to whenever you got sad, or when you were getting over an ex, then that song will forever be attributed to those moments and feelings.
It’s often hard to resist the temptation of looking back. The painful realizations that you messed up and failed can sometimes outweigh all the good. It’s human nature. While we may grow through pain and time, there’s always one thing to remember. There’s the other side.
The other side can be anything; it can be a reward you set for yourself, a longtime goal, or even a temporary one, like taking a walk before class. It’s the little things that really count, after all. All those moments you spend alone where you can really be yourself, that’s where the good stuff lies.
As stated, it’s really easy to get swept up in all of the emotions of the past. Oftentimes, I fall victim to recollection. I still think of people I haven’t talked to since the semester started, I’ll still think about the failed friendship with my roommate, all the tests I should have studied for, all the relationships that fell through; but that isn’t a bad thing. Being able to acknowledge your failures is the best way to start getting better. No matter the place, no matter the situation, there’s always room to improve, even if occurrences or people suggest otherwise. Always do your best and always accept room to grow. Just never forget about the other side, or you just might lose your mind.
It’s been a long semester, my friends, but we’re almost there. Just keep on pushing.
