There are times when you listen to music and one song in particular sticks out to you. Recently I was listening to Breaking Benjamin, and their song, "Evil Angel" came on. The title makes it sound like it would be about the devil or just be satanic in general, but it's not. I think it's actually talking about something that you may turn to when life becomes difficult such as drugs, alcohol or something of that nature.
The first chorus states, "Put me to sleep evil angel. Open your wings evil angel." When we find something that can take away the pain, we embrace it. We don't think it'll hurt us since it's making us feel better right now. In the moment, it always sounds like a good idea. You think that you'll do whatever it is just this once, and it'll be all over after that. After all, how bad could it really be? Whatever it is that you're looking at as an escape seems like a much better option than what you're trying to get away from. That's when it just looks like an angel.
It becomes the evil angel when it finally gets you. The second chorus changes a bit from the first: "Fly over me evil angel. Why can't I breathe evil angel?" The moment you realize that it's going to kill you is when it's already too late. By then, you might be in too deep to be able to get yourself out of it. It may not physically kill you, but it can ruin and dominate your life. You feel like you can't breathe and are being suffocated by that addiction that was created. The only way to be able to breathe again is to get rid of whatever it is that is dragging you down.
That point usually results in one of two things: you beat the addiction and begin to learn to live again without it (or how to control it), or you let it beat you. The song seems to take the latter route when it repeats, "Put me to sleep evil angel. Open your wings evil angel". I think it's implying that someone has embraced that this is the end and succumbed to it. Even though there are many songs that deal with this concept, Breaking Benjamin's "Evil Angel", as well as Three Days Grace's "Painkiller" stick out to me the most and make it all the more real.
While both the songs that I've mentioned before take this down a darker and more extreme route, the "addiction" doesn't have to necessarily be what we all think it is. Yes, it very well could be drugs or alcohol, or any other common topic of today's conversations. But what if it was something like another person, or another (much less destructive) habit? Neither of those may kill you, they can still get you and take control of your life.
We all have some kind of an "evil angel" or "painkiller". Something that we allow to rule our lives when it doesn't help us at all in reality. Mine? I think mine is my emotions, and the fact that I decide to bury them. In burying them, I'm actually letting them take the wheel when they shouldn't - when I should be the one driving while they stay in the back seat. While we may not be able to actually get rid of our evil angel, we can learn to live with it and not let it take control. I've finally found what mine is and am working with living with it. Have you found yours?
"I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer
You'll love me till it's all over, over
'Cause I'm the shoulder you cry on
The dose that you die on
I, I can be your painkiller, killer, killer
Did you find another cure?"
-Three Days Grace, "Painkiller"
