Dating in 2016 is tricky and complicated when it really shouldn’t be. If only we could go back to the time when a guy just said he liked you and you go on a date. Then asks you to be his girlfriend. It’s not that simple anymore and after years of being stuck in this spider web of modern dating I finally had my own epiphany.
I met this guy earlier this year and honestly I had a crush on his friend so I barely noticed him. Swiping through Tinder I added him in hopes that I could get closer to his friend. I started talking to him and getting to know him and he seemed really laid-back and cool. My best friend at the time pushed me to hang out with him and swore up and down that he was “one of the good ones”. I had been rejected by so many guys in the past that I was really hesitant to start anything.
After figuring out a time where we were both free (he had to drive to see me), I agreed to hang out with him. We ended up staying up until 2 AM talking and sharing stories. Soon after we are in constant communication: Facetime, texting, calling. I started to learn about his past relationships and family and ended up liking him way more than I expected. My friends all asked if we were dating and I never knew what to say. I wanted to go on fancy dates with him and meet his friends and he would always have excuses each time. It was that point where you ask the dreaded “what are we” question and things became awkward. He talked about how he “wasn’t ready for a relationship” and similar excuses where I should have seen right through it and moved on. I stupidly stayed with him because “he liked me a lot”.
It started to become a struggle talking to him because I knew this wasn’t going to last but he gave me hope that in the “near future” there will be a chance. Waiting for him was my mistake. My nights consisted of crying to my best friend asking her why he was being this way. I became so stressed out, I barely ate and spent most of the night tossing and turning analyzing things he had said to me. That was when I had my epiphany.
After four months of dealing with all this, I was sitting on my bed looking at the recent message he sent me and it just hit me: why am I wasting so much time and energy on this guy? He clearly wouldn’t care if I fell off the face of the earth because he was just move on with someone else. That’s when I started playing him the way he played me. Ignoring his texts and calls, giving him the cold shoulder.
I finally ended things with him saying that I was done and sure he had some mean things to say about it, but after I sent that last message to him I felt so free. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. After that I told myself I would never deal with that ever again. I would never be that girl again. I was worth a million dollars and if he couldn't see that then he wasn't worth my time. Summer had just begun and just a few days after we ended things everyone noticed my improved mood.
I soon met my current boyfriend after and looking back, I’m glad I had this epiphany and I’m glad that I’m with someone who wants to really be with me and makes me smile every day.
