To Whom It May Concern:
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." - Maya Angelou
Years ago, I never thought that I'd be writing this letter. Buried beneath an overwhelming feeling of self denial, I had convinced myself that I would, one day, marry a man, have children, and maybe even raise them to be Catholic, just like I had been raised. I shuddered at the word "gay" and on multiple occasions, made myself sick with worry over the possibility that being gay could, in fact, be my reality.
So, while I think you may already know where this is going, I wanted to tell you that I am gay. For some, this may come as quite the shock. For others, it may serve as a confirmation. Regardless of whether you were suspicious of my sexuality or not, I wanted to apologize. I'm not, in any way, sorry for who I am, but more so, I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark for so long. I'm hoping that with this letter, I can not only give you a piece of my puzzle that you've been missing for the entirety of my life, but I can make it easier on those going through the same thing.
The United States has made great strides in equality for the LGBT+ community, but life isn't particularly easy for those who don't identify as heterosexual. This letter marks the beginning of a lifetime of struggles that I may face. I live in a world where it is illegal to be myself in 79 different countries. To put things in perspective, only 60% of the world accepts people like myself. There is a lingering fear that comes with being gay. You never necessarily know if a person that you're coming out to is homophobic, and while homophobia may seem like old news, only 59% of Americans support gay marriage and LGBT+ equality according to the latest poll.
To you, my family and friends, I ask that you don't add to such prejudices. Having been raised in a Catholic household, I understand the apprehension to accept me for who I am. My sexuality goes against everything that the Bible teaches, and I have no interest in altering your interpretation of the Bible, but my hope is that you will be able to understand that this was not my choice. 1 John 4:7-8, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." Just because my love may be different than yours, we are still bound by an everlasting appreciation of love; a feeling that cannot be compared to anything else.
My only hope is that you read this letter, look to your loved ones, whether they be gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, etc., and give them the biggest hug, to reassure them that you appreciate and acknowledge their love in any form it may come. Specifically, I hope that my letter encourages you to not inherently assume that a person is heterosexual. Instead, try asking open-ended questions, such as, "Are you seeing anyone?" or "Do you have a significant other?" In doing so, you're allowing your loved one the opportunity to tell you that they're seeing someone of the same sex, rather than unknowingly forcing them further into the closet by asking gender-specific questions.
As for me, I'm happy. I have finally accepted myself for exactly who I am, and I'm no longer going to hide this part of me in an effort to be "normal." I can only hope that you will continue to judge me on the content of my character, rather than my sexual orientation. I am still the daughter, the granddaughter, the sister, the niece, the cousin, and the friend that you know me as.
