Christmas is supposed to be a special time of year for everyone but with each passing year, I seem to find that it's losing its luster. Is it because I am no longer a child? Or because the things that I find myself wanting are no longer things that can be bought?
Every year Christmas comes around and every year I find myself in a slump and I can't help but wonder what the cause is? Have I lost my childlike wonder for this holiday or is it something deeper?
I don't hate Christmas, I just can never get myself in the right mode for the holiday. I always get through New Years wishing that the previous year had ended on a happier note and that Christmas had been better.
This year Christmas isn't even here yet and I'm already wishing for the New Year to start. It's not that I want to avoid it, I just wish it was going to happen in a better way.
I find myself depressed and trying to find a way to MAKE myself enjoy the holiday. Objects aren't what makes the holiday important, but they do make it a little more enjoyable and less of a strain, especially when you have children.
So, this year I'm doing a lot of things with my son to MAKE it feel like Christmas. We've decorated snowflakes and made a gingerbread house. We even made some ornaments for the tree. I figured that getting creative would make the holiday mean that much more.
These are the special memories that I'll hold dear to my heart when the time has passed, and he's no longer home with me. He'll grow up one day and move out on his own and I won't have him around to make the holiday special.
I don't care about presents for me. I can do without. But his day has to be special and every day leading up to it has to keep his spirits high because I want nothing less than him growing up to wish Christmas away as I have.
Hopefully, my attitude will change again in time and I'll be happy about Christmas but until that happens, I'm going to focus on making the holiday a special one for him. A way of starting a new family tradition that will be carried on to my future grandchildren, maybe, he is only 4 after all.
For the rest of the days until Christmas, we're going to decorate sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles and decorate the house to make it look like a winter wonderland that you might see in a book. I don't want him getting depressed at Christmas as I do.
Christmas is a holiday for the children mostly and if it's the last thing I do this year he will be just as excited as I used to be at Christmas time as a child. He is the best gift that I could ever wish or hope for so I'm all set with Christmas for the rest of my life.
For the rest of you, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and spend it with those that are most special to you.
