Dear Catcaller,
It’s pretty difficult for me to write this without feeling uncomfortable. For some reason, you have this preconceieved notion that I want to hear whatever you have to say to me. I cannot go a day walking on York Road without being catcalled in some way. I could be walking in basketball shorts and an oversized sweatshirt with no make up on, and a car full of you guys will honk and yell obnoxious things. But why do you do this? I really want to know. Do you think that when you scream, “damn girl” from across the street, that I will think highly of you? Do you think that I will go out of my way to talk to you now? Well, I won’t. In fact, when you yell these things to me, it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable. What gives you the right to make me feel that way? I don't know.
I really wish I could go out in leggings and feel like you aren’t going to stare at my ass and say something crude to your friend. That’s simply not the case. I don’t wear leggings and yoga pants to get attention, I wear them when I’m going to the gym or if I want to be comfortable. I would love to continue to do these things without getting unwanted attention from creeps.
Don’t get me wrong, every now and then I would love a little confidence boost. There is a way to hit on a girl without making her feel vulnerable. If you went up to me and called me beautiful, I probably wouldn’t have a problem with that. In fact, I would feel like you actually are making an effort to make me feel good about myself. A couple days ago, I was on the elevator with a guy in my building. I live on the 12th floor and he lived on a higher floor, so we had time for small talk. We had a decent conversation and as I was leaving, he said, “Stay, beautiful.” It was simple. It gave me a little confidence boost since I was having an awful day and felt like crap. I did not feel uncomfortable or disrespected. He also waited until the end of the conversation to say this, which avoided a potientially awkward elevator ride.
You catcallers should take that approach. I’m begging you to stop making me feel so uncomfortable when I walk across the street. I feel like I always have to walk quickly, look straight ahead or even look at the ground to avoid making eye contact with a potential catcaller. To be completely candid, most of the time I’m not even in the mood to deal with you guys. The problem is, I don’t have a choice. It is completely up to you to decide what I’m going to have to deal with today.
Women are strong individuals. But, you make some of us feel weak, vulnerable, violated, disrespected and uncomfortable when you roll down your windows and yell obnoxious things. Some men even follow us when we are walking until we respond. There is a respectful way to comment positively about a woman’s appearance. I wish you could take that approach.
Remember, I am not a sexual object. I'm a person who is just trying to get through another day.
Sincerely,
Jordan
