It doesn’t take a genius to realize that fraternities are unlike any other organization on the planet. Every chapter has its own unique traditions, and there are actually very few commonalities between fraternities.

It is hard to understand why we do the things we do if you aren’t involved in Greek life—or if you tried to be involved, but did not get a bid. My brotherhood should not be the brunt of your jokes just because it is different than your social group.

Fraternity men are smart.

We aren’t airheads who put our social lives before our grades. We are not airheads at all. In fact, many fraternity men go on to be successful scientists, businessmen, politicians, and doctors.

You might not believe that a group of mainly white males, with disposable income, would be able to overcome such great odds to accomplish these feats, but we did, and we will keep doing it.

I didn’t buy my friends nor am I in it for a resume builder. I just pay to be a part of a social organization that includes friendship and potential job opportunities. It’s completely separate.

“Did you join a fraternity so you can buy your friends because you can’t get them on your own?” This question is my favorite. I have several friends outside of my fraternity.

You might think it’s funny to ask me every time I come home from a party how many shots I took or how many girls I made out with, but it’s not. How would you like it, if I made fun of you, at your expense?

Sometimes, people smush their faces together at parties, but that’s just how college is. And while we have fun, we still look out for each other. I was constantly reminded that underage drinking is prohibited by both the law and our chapter’s character before I was 21.

Most Greek Life parties are not even “ragers”, but casual, loose affairs that are exclusive with sororities in a similar social caste as us. How about this—the moment that putting people into classes based on wealth and appearance shows any downside, is the day that you can make fun of fraternities and sororities.

Also, ‘Big’ and “Little” aren’t just cute nicknames. My Big is my mentor, my best friend, and my family.

Yes, I will always call him Big.

Yes, my feelings are hurt when you make jokes about how I refer to him as “Big.” If you actually wanted to see something funny, you would see us in our matching “Biggie” and “Smalls” tank-tops and marvel at our cleverness.

My Big was not was assigned to me after I signed my bid card. Big and Little pairings are the closest thing to an arranged marriage that exists in college culture and must be treated with respect.

Yes, my letters are everything. I cannot count the number of times someone has made a joke about the hand signs fraternity boys hold up in pictures, better known as “throwing what we know.” The jokes are never funny and jokes about groups of people that are similar to me will never be funny.

We keep the most important things a secret. Sorry, no matter how much you poke and prod, I am not going to tell you our initiation ritual. If you really wanted to know what happens then, you would just join a Greek organization. Or I guess you could just hang outside of a fraternity house during the initiation ritual.

Just know that you can smell the sacrificed goat’s fat cooking before you’ll see the excess blood draining from the house.

You will never understand what it means to be a fraternity unless you join one. I’m not saying to go and sign up for recruitment right now because this life isn’t for everyone. If you aren’t cool enough to get a bid or don’t have the disposable income to join Greek Life then you should just stay home.

Sure, we do things a little bit differently than you might. We have some habits you might find odd. That doesn’t mean we need to be the butt of your jokes. Trust me. As someone who is telling you how to behave on the internet, I can assure you that I know what is, and what is not funny.