Relationships come and go, but your first heartbreak will always lay dormant within you until you learn how to deal with a broken heart and mend the pieces back together. First loves are something special. You find that your walls have decayed, you become vulnerable, you get butterflies every time you see this person’s face and you finally come to realize what love really feels like. It feels like a heavy weight on your heart screaming through your chest because deep down you know that this person is going to eventually hurt you.

Nothing lasts forever, that’s inevitable. But being in college and meeting that one person you instantly connect with will make you feel so lucky because how did you manage to find that one person out of a sea of college students? Maybe it is fate, maybe everything is supposed to happen for a reason because without heartbreak and hardships how will one ever grow?

You begin to see this person every day, begin dating and rush into a relationship. A few months go by and you come to see that this person has flaws, but you soon begin to fall in love with their flaws because it makes them who they are. After accepting their flaws and spending every single second of the day with them, they do something to crack your heart, but not fully break it. They cut things off.

Once they realize that they have made a mistake and the relationship was the only strong aspect they said they had in their life, you take them back. A little inch of your decaying wall goes back up. A few weeks go by and everything goes back to normal, the cut off is forgotten but you soon become obsessive and rely on one person to make you happy.

You see yourself becoming someone you are not. You accept that you love this person because you have come to the conclusion that you would take a bullet for them. You would take away all of their pain just so they do not have to suffer one bit. That is when the weight becomes too heavy on your heart. Sooner or later, spending time apart with friends becomes a good thing. Space is needed, yet all of the attention that was focused on you dies down a little bit. That college party phase emerges and you think that you need your significant other more than they need you.

Communication becomes impossible and you feel as if you can read your partner so well, yet they cannot read you. You know that you have worked things out in the past, but that heavy weight on your heart tells you otherwise. Once that happiness dies out and the small things they did for you begin to outweigh the big things, what’s the point any more. You find that you have lost yourself because you gave too much of yourself to someone else. You break things off before they do because the direction you were going in was a bunch of circles. You cry and cry and replay the amazing memories you two shared, remembering that you were the one who ended it all, but if you had waited, the pain would have been worse. You thank yourself for getting out of something that was not going anywhere. You thank yourself for breaking your own heart.