Remember when "Twilight" came out and girls were obsessed over Edward Cullen? Everywhere girls were obsessed with the idea of becoming a vampire, being in love, and having a boy save them. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't have those same thoughts. When the media around you is whispering in your ear, "a boy will save you," values and ideas are misconstrued.
I never had a boyfriend in middle school. I never had a boyfriend in high school. It wasn't until I was 19 that I actually started "dating." While my friends posted sappy pictures and quotes, I pondered.
"What will it feel like to have a boy save me?"
In my head I drew up this scenario involving the perfect moment. I would meet a guy and he would be the light at the end of a dark tunnel. We would be kiss to a '70s rock album and live happily ever after. Right?
Except in real life, it quite play out like this. My boyfriend didn't save me. He didn't sweep me off my feet. To be honest, we didn't even become a relationship until almost six months after meeting him. That's another story though.
So you're probably thinking, "If he didn't save you then what did he do?"
I cringe when I hear young girls say, "but he saved me!" Did he, though? Or did you save yourself?
My boyfriend didn't save me instead he inspires me. Mostly because he is the most talented person I have ever met but also because he sees a different side of me, a side that I can't see. For example, if I start being too hard on myself he is there to put me in my place. He makes me want to do better, rather that be my career or even cooking. There was a time that I really struggled with where I was headed but he stayed by me.
I wasn't broke when he found me. I was whole. Was I in a dark time of my life? Yes! He didn't save me though. I wasn't a damsel in distress. I was a young girl, a Sophomore in college, questioning my education, but then he came in. He wasn't what I expected or had asked for. When I was younger I thought a Prince would be the one to ride up. No, it was a drummer that looked like Mike Portnoy that rode up. I was shocked when I didn't feel an euphoria rush over me.
I thought life would change once I met him.
I thought the second you met your significant other everything would change. Where was the new life that I expected? He didn't save me.
At first I was confused. This isn't what I expected to feel. It was rocky at first, constantly checking my phone to see it he had texted me, and wondering if he was thinking about me.
It took months for us to finally make it official but even then, he didn't save me. In real life our significant others aren't always knights or princes. They are everyday people with flaws and imperfections. They aren't always going to show up on a white horse and carry us into the sunset. Why are we telling our daughters that this? Why are we limiting our sisters to being saved by someone?
I am happy being with the person that makes me feel whole. But he wasn't what made me whole. He balanced me out, he allowed me to go out on adventures together, and even make new friends.
Our story isn't over. Real love isn't a fairytale. It's frustrating sometimes, it makes you want to scream. My boyfriend is my best friend, not my savior. He protects me when he needs to but he doesn't control me. We can turn the simplest nights into some of the best nights. I got a new sewing machine and on boring night of setting it up, we found ourselves laughing as we sewed scraps together.
In a time of female empowerment, the media tells us to rely on men. Well, here I am telling you "no." Ladies, be your own hero. Don't let a man stand in front of you and pave your way, do it together. It's a team effort. You are in this a team. I don't want to be remembered as the girl that was saved, I want to be remembered as the power couple. Am I thankful for my boyfriend? Yes! But like I said, he didn't save me. All in all, he made a better version of me. It sounds so cliche. I was me before and I'm me now.
