3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Set Your Friends Up Together
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3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Set Your Friends Up Together

It might sound like a great idea, but your best friends dating could end in disaster.

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Kristina Litvjak

Have you ever had two friends who you think would be just great for each other? You can envision the bomb double dates and the award-winning toast you'd eloquently deliver at their wedding. They work so well as friends; you bet they'd be even better as a couple. So if you're anything like me, you meddle and try to low-key push them together, (even though subtly is not your forte).

I've been in that scenario twice this summer, and I've finally learned my lesson. I see myself as a sort of matchmaking savant and my friend group (unknowingly) enlisted my services. My friend group consists of my boyfriend and his best friends and me and my best friends. Recently I've been attempting to pair them together for solely selfish reasons. I love double dates, but our friends are perpetually single.

In the past two months, I've realized that there are three main reasons why my best friends should (probably) never date, and why I need to stop being so involved in their love lives. I urge you to learn from my mistakes and keep your own friends from coupling up.

1. You'll always be in the middle of their relationship. Always.

I know you tell them, "I'm not picking sides, I love you both!" But that is a lie, and we all know it. No matter how much you want to stay neutral, it's going to be hard to avoid getting involved. Your bestie is used to gossiping with you after a horrible date or describing in detail how steamy the first kiss was. When they're both your friends, you don't want to know about your best friends kissing skills.

A couple of weeks ago, my friends were discussing something serious over text, and I had to juggle back-and-forth between their calls. I would tell one what to say and the other how to respond and eventually I was just talking to myself through their texts.

At that point, I had to step back and realize I was WAY too involved in their relationship. But it's hard not to be. Typically my best friend will send me screenshots of every conversation with a new guy, and I'm always there to scream in excitement with her and call him an ass when he takes twelve hours to respond. You can't do that when the 'ass' in question is also your friend.

2. You'll be forced to keep secrets from both of them.

I am the most straightforward, candid person and keeping secrets goes against my very soul. It pains me. Especially when I have to keep a secret from a person I care about.

Sadly, when two of your friends are dating, you have no choice but to keep secrets from them.

Here's how it goes down.

Friend A will tell you how hopelessly in love they are with Friend B, but you have to promise, no matter what, you won't tell the other how they feel.

Then Friend B calls you up all worried and upset because Friend A is so closed off and they have no idea how the other really feels about them.

In a perfect world, you'd tell your friend that actually Friend A is crazy about them, but is just nervous to confess their feelings. Except if you did that Friend A might kill you and Friend B might get angry you hadn't told them sooner.

Or even worse one of your friends wants to break up with your other friend and is planning on doing it tomorrow during their date. But you know that Friend A has planned a super romantic date, and you've already helped them pick an outfit and a backup outfit, just in case.

What do you do? Nothing. Because if you tell, both parties might turn against you for outing their secrets. If you don't, you'll probably get wrapped up in a chain of lies and secrets that you'll never get out of.

Either way, you'll probably feel like a lousy friend.

3. You'll have to deal with the fallout if/when they break up.

Usually, when your friend gets dumped, you spend hours telling them how they can do so much better and how you never liked their partner anyways.

Breakups change a lot when you have to comfort both sides. It's an extremely delicate situation where you have to instantly master the art of tact and finesse. You hate to do it, but you have to tell them both what they want to hear.

You have to support Friend B in their decision but also have Friend A's back. You have to help one friend plan a flawless breakup while making sure the other friend doesn't get too heartbroken. The ultimate goal, however, is to ensure everyone remains friends and this breakup DOES NOT, no matter what, cause the friend group to self-combust.

I had to navigate two of my friends breaking up recently, and it's not fun. I mourned the loss of a relationship with one friend while panicking with the other about how to maintain the friendship.

Take my advice and don't meddle in your friend's love lives. If your friends do magically fall in love and have a fairytale Disney wedding where you get to give that kickass speech about how they have you to thank for all their happiness, it's great. But it sucks to be responsible if everything falls apart.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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