"Friendship is precious not only in the shade but in the sunshine of life"- Thomas Jefferson.
My dear friends, where did you go? I realize that after college many people stop responding to texts (I've been lazy with it myself) but alas, to discover that few of my closest friends have me on their social media accounts anymore has me wondering what happened? I liked your pictures from a distance and maybe sent the occasional "You look great!" and then one day.. silence.
This is an open letter to all the friends I cherished as my sisters who disappeared one day without a trace, and perhaps it is also a letter to myself if I stopped replying to people. It wasn't a fight, we were great friends who became family.. and with some distance texting but gradually the replies became less and less until I heard no more from you like the silence of a night deep within a forest.
(As a disclaimer: this letter is referring to healthy friendships with positive memories from both participants)
My Dear Friend,
Alas how can I replace a tableau of memories, laughs and late night discussions? The spelled coffee and the tears, and the dreams of a brighter tomorrow. Whether I knew you since I was a child, or since college you were my family- and then one day like the evening stars disappeared from my life without a reason or hint. You were the one I shared my deepest dreams and secrets with. For somebody who never had a biological sister you became mine. We laughed, we cried and we shared all the successes and dreams of life with each other. How can I ever replace you? How can I not pause to reflect on what happened? We weren't mad, and I hoped one day you would reply to my texts or memes I tagged you in but alas... I no longer see you at all, like a magnificent dream that faded with the morning light.
Both my friends I cherished since childhood going on and finding new friends and discovering I was no longer their best friend, as well as my friends from college who disappeared. In the United States we have an employment crises, educated young people cannot find employment in their fields- and the ones who are lucky fled the country for a better life abroad. But my dear friend, please know I will not judge you regardless of your job (or no job) right now. I have been in the same boat and understand how you feel. Perhaps you made new friends? My dear friend I rejoice for you! but alas, please do not forget those of us you shared everything with and leave us as though we were strangers. I understand that people change and I'm sure I have as well.
Although I hesitate to tell the world my feelings, I cried for hours wondering what I have done to make you leave in such a manner. When our last conversations were talking about our favorite international foods to try or our dream trips across the world.
I will always cherish these memories of us in my heart forever, mon cher amie as long as I can my heart will always be open for you to come back to me even with a quick "whats up?" text. If you are going through a trial and do not feel like discussing it, that is perfectly alright but please know that I will be here when you need somebody to cry on and I will always consider you my family. If you did something you may feel you regret- please know that your close friends won't offer judgement, but we will listen to your regrets and your hopes. Did I do something to hurt you? Please let me know, and I apologize for it.
I am right here mon cher amie- whether I am in the halls of marble in Washington, DC or at a Parisian Cafe. Whenever you are ready, I hope you will consider me your friend again.
My warmest wishes for your future, and I am honored to have considered you one of my closest friends.