According to The Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors Annual Survey, “Anxiety continues to be the most predominant presenting concern among college students (41.6%).”
I have always been an anxious person. Almost every morning throughout high school, I would sit in the parking lot with my mom, arguing outside Starbucks. I would come up with every excuse why I shouldn’t walk inside alone. I would plead with her to go in with me and tell her that I would just get food at school, but her question: “What are you going to do when you go to college?” always got me out of the car.
Walking inside, my mind raced with hundreds of questions and insecurities: “What if I see someone from school? If the line is really long, I might be late to class. I have to order a sandwich for my mom. What if people think I’m eating two?” Standing in line felt like a race against time. My heartbeat became a countdown timer and every second that ticked by rivaled a Bruce Willis thriller. My return to the car always felt like I narrowly escaped disaster.
Fast-forward to sophomore year of college, and I had my first panic attack. After almost forgetting to set my alarm for a meeting the next day, I climbed into my loft bed, ready to drift off to sleep. Suddenly, my palms started sweating, my hands and feet tingled, and my heart rate sped up. I hyperventilated, the oxygen levels in my body spiked, making it almost impossible to exhale. My throat tightened up, adding to the choking sensation. Not knowing what was happening, I immediately thought I was dying. After the dizziness subsided enough for me to climb down the ladder attached to my bed, I sat in my desk chair all night, researching anxiety and panic attacks in between waves of more hyperventilation.
Luckily, my panic attacks since the first have not been as severe. I learned how to recognize the start of an attack and focus on my breathing in order to calm down. I’ve also learned that the busier I am, the less anxious I become. Focusing on things that have a positive impact on my life has been the best solution to my anxiety. In the past five months, I started driving, finished my first semester as president of Tri Delta, and voluntarily spoke in front of 600 peers.
Still, some days walking across campus is the hardest thing I have to do, but it makes the other everyday worries of life seem easy in comparison. Knowing that the fear is irrational doesn’t make it any less real. In fact, it adds frustration when you know deep down that you are fine, but your body is in emergency mode.
If you have anxiety, know that it doesn’t make you weak. Facing these challenges every day can make you a stronger person.
