My nicotine addiction - I don't want it and I'm removing it from my life. It's been destroying me and the people I love most.
I grew up with both of my parents smoking cigarettes, and it's always been around me. My mom finally quit when I was in elementary school, and my dad still hasn't quit. Secondhand smoke is completely real, and I was, still am, exposed to it every single day. My dad would smoke in the car when I was in it, he currently smokes in his house in the kitchen.
I started smoking cigarettes when I was 16 and it was the worst thing I could have done. I was so used to being around the smell, that when I wasn't- I became irritable.
A lot of my friends started vaping around that time, so I started to vape and eventually cut the cigarettes. All summer of 2016 and 2017 I would sit in the parking lot before work and vape, go on my break and vape, and get out of work and always have my vape on me. I brought it everywhere and I spent a lot of money on new juices and coils and anything I needed to replace broken parts. I went through three vapes, and it started to get bad.
I would always vape when I was driving, I would do it so much that I would start to get dizzy and not feel competent to drive. Certain flavors would make me sick to my stomach, and I just started feeling gross overall. I always had a headache, and when I didn't vape I would become very irritable.
The fact that I can have the vape on me and not having it smell like cigarettes just made me want to smoke it even more. I didn't feel like I was doing any harm to my body, and I felt like I had it under control.
Sitting in class for too long made me anxious.
My social life sucked because a lot of my friends thought that vaping was stupid and they would judge me for it.
My mom started to become suspicious and threatened to kick me out of the house if I kept having these bad habits and if I continued to "live this lifestyle".
My boyfriend was worried for my health and I felt like a burden to him all the time.
I finally sold my vape recently and I'm giving my friend the rest of my juice bottles. This progress is small, but I am trying to make sure there isn't any nicotine in my reach. I'm not going to lie, I'm really scared- I feel like I might go through some types of withdrawal and I'm scared I'm going to become more irritable than ever because I don't have my nicotine fix.
So yeah, addiction is really awful. It consumed my life and made the people who care about me concerned and stressed out, while it just continued to weave itself into my life. I don't want it anymore, and I'm going to continue to resist it until I don't crave it anymore.
