Being a teenager is hard. No one warns you about the trials and tribulations of adolescence. I knew teenagers got "zits" from TV shows, but I never knew about the role acne may play in our lives.
I only had acne for a short period of my life. Many people struggle with acne for years and years. The timing, however, couldn't have been worse. I started to notice an increased amount of pimples during December of my senior year of high school. Winter already wreaks havoc on my dry, pale skin, so an influx of red spots did nothing to help my appearance. The problem was none of the creams or pills I took for my skin seemed to work. If anything, they made me look and feel worse.
I felt betrayed by my own skin. My parents never had issues with acne, and I always washed my face and applied sunscreen. If that wasn't enough, my mom also is a dermatology nurse. I'm sure people laughed when they saw me and heard what my mother's profession is.
March 2014, I was at my wits end. I had a pretty hard time senior year, and crying at my reflection in the mirror certainly didn't help. By this point, I developed cystic acne. I had prom, graduation and college to look forward to, but all I could think about was the best way to cover my face. Having acne made me feel like less of a girl. I booked an appointment for the dermatologist, and it seemed like it was time to use my last resort option: Accutane. I took my first pill on my last day of high school, how fitting.
What nobody tells you about Accutane is how life-changing it is. Every two weeks I had to get blood tests to prove I was not pregnant (Accutane is linked to severe birth defects). I would dread having a needle in my arm, but I told myself it would be worth it in the end. I also had to quit my job working at a lazy river because Accutane increases the risk of sunburn. More side effects of Accutane are dry eyes, lower back pain and chapped lips. I experienced all three side effects simultaneously during my six months on the pill. Lucky me.
In order to fill out a new prescription, there was a series of online questions I had to fill out every month asking about my life on Accutane. Accutane is linked to depression, which is the nature of the online questions. I was more depressed at the fact I had painful acne than because of the medicine.
Here's the cool thing about Accutane though, it works. I still get the occasional pimple, and yes, I freak out about it more than most people, but then again, I'm the only person I know who has been on Accutane. My hair was not as wavy as it used to be, and I had to get a new job, but Accutane didn't define me. I have no problem sharing my Accutane journey because for once, I am finally happy with the reflection I see.
