As I look back on this year, it would be easy for me to say that it could've gone a lot worse. 2016 was full of ups and downs, as every year is, but it's pretty safe to say that this one has been especially terrible for the general population. Here's my journal-entry of my personal rollercoaster of a year:
On the literal first day of this year, January 1st, 2016, my boyfriend of about a year dumped me. Cool. I felt betrayed, heartbroken and hopeless. I hadn't been single since I was 15, and that was only for a few months. I had never had to go through life without a significant other. I had never been told that someone I truly loved didn't love me anymore. And that sucked. I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to eat, I barely slept, I cried nonstop and my anxiety hyped up more than ever. I tried going to holiday parties and couldn't handle being social. I whined on snapchat and I was that girl that everyone got tired of talking to.
But then I realized something: being single meant that I didn't have to feel responsible for anyone else's happiness other than my own. I didn't have to get permission to go certain places or hang out with certain people. For the first time in my life, I could do whatever I wanted - although, honestly, I wasn't sure what that was.
Throughout 2016, I did more stuff than any other time in my life. I went on a spring break trip 14 hours away and saw the ocean for the first time. On that trip, I also got to see the oldest tree east of the Mississippi River. I got an impulsive tattoo (my third). I got impulsive piercings. I shaved off 1/4 of my hair. I went to my first political rally. I went to four different concerts in three cities (to see 7 bands in total!). I got my first apartment, and I adopted a kitten. I tried out modeling. I made the Dean's List. I went on a field trip to 7 cities, most in a state I had never been to, and saw countless famous architectural works by people like Mies van der Rohe, Frank Lloyd Wright, Eliel and Eero Saarinen, Richard Meier, Zaha Hadid, and I.M. Pei. I stood on the top of a 5-star hotel's helicopter pad. I got into a plane for the first time. I jumped out of that same plane. I got a new job. I learned how to make a balloon puppy.
Although I can't lie and say I haven't felt lonely from time to time or had a lot of smaller heartbreaks, and although I can't say I suddenly don't have anxiety or depression, I have realized that I am an independent person. I have a very strong set of interests and I don't need to have someone else to go out into the world and do what I want. I don't need to think about who approves of my actions. I get to meet new people and go out or stay in and never have to schedule myself around anyone else. I am more than comfortable with myself, and even when I find the next person I want to commit to (although let's face it - probably won't happen for a while), I am going to continue following my dreams and getting impulsive body modifications and going wherever my next adventure leads me to...which very may well be out of the country once Trump becomes President.
Looking back on how much a year can change or how much life you can squeeze out of 365 days can really amaze you when you stop to think about it.
