Congrats, grad! Did you just get yourself an entry-level office job? You need to take immediate steps to ensure your employer and supervisors note how valuable you are to the office! Here's my suggestions.
1. Ensure the security of office supplies.
Is nothing sacred anymore?
Those cookies Marcy brought to the holiday potluck party? You know she printed the recipe off during work time, on work paper, with work ink. You saw Henry leave with a work pencil tucked behind his ear, and earlier this week he accidentally stapled his hand to his desk. What a waste of work staples.
2. Make sure to monitor the schedules of your colleagues.
Color coding is fun!
Some people do not respect a set schedule! They are five minutes late from lunch, or take off early. Who cares that your coworkers have children to take to soccer practice? You don’t know whether or not they’ve made arrangements with the manager ahead of time, so it’s always best to report them!
There are myriad ways to track your colleagues use of their time. My personal favorite is to purchase a stopwatch for each of your colleagues. You can use the office labelmaker to label each (this is not stealing office supplies, as you are doing this to ensure an efficient and honest workplace). Simply start the appropriate stopwatch when a coworker leaves for anything, such as a fifteen minute coffee run. When she comes back, you can show your boss it was truly a seventeen minute, twenty-six second coffee run!
3. Pick your nose at your desk.
Take your pick... ha!
Everyone loves someone with enough confidence to not care what others think!
4. Leave notes and make signs so you don’t have to confront anyone.
Post-It notes are a far better way of communicating. Dennis won’t know it’s you that can’t handle the smell of his broccoli in the kitchen. You know you’re not the only one!
Try printing signs when you can. Comic Sans font adds a nice touch, and this way no one can recognize your handwriting. Again, this is not a waste of work supplies, since your tasks are work related.
5. Ensure you colleagues adhere to basic social mores, such as decency.
Scandalous, Mickey!
Eric keeps photos of a woman in a bathing suit on his desk! Nevermind that the woman is his wife, pictured with their children at a family vacation to Hawaii. So inappropriate.
6. Join conversations you were not invited into.
It’s a great way to steer the conversation in a new direction and expose your colleagues to your interesting opinions and experiences! Also, it’s the only way you’ll be able to converse with them, since none of your coworkers seem to initiate conversation with you. It’s okay, they’re just shy.
