Hands down, 2015 was the year that was marked by race and racial justice. As I studied for finals in the first quarter of 2015, as I tuned in to the Baltimore protests, I entertained the notion that black men and black people in general are treated as second class citizens in America. As I followed the Freddie Gray case, I learned that Gray died from a spinal cord injury because he was handled excessively by police during his arrest for possession of a switchblade, and because he was roughed up in the back of the police van because he was placed in the van without a seatbelt. If Gray wasn't a poor black man, would he have been treated that way? Would he have received more humane treatment if he was a rich white guy who lived in a modern Brownstown in New York City instead of an impoverished area of Baltimore?

As for the Tamir Rice case, just before New Year's, my newsfeed was blown up with images of his glorious, shining face because he was shot by an officer for pretending to fire a BB gun at some of the people around him. The national dialogue was that the officer should have waited before assuming that Rice had a gun. More importantly, Rice was treated like an adult by the officers and could not keep his innocence. The national dialogue was centered around the notion that black children are typecast as thugs and are viewed as more threatening than white children and white people in general. Plus, the officers that killed Rice were not indicted so the black community felt as if the justice system is biased in favor of officers who make mistakes and white people in general. A lot of people around America and on social media were rightfully upset about what happened to Rice and the results of this case.

So, how are blacks and African-Americans supposed to carry on with their lives after these two recent incidents of injustice, not to mention numerous others where excessive force was used against black men and women? Are we supposed to be disillusioned with America? I found myself wondering if America is the place for me, if things like this are happening to blacks. In fact, I sometimes question whether or not I want to remain in this country; maybe I will attain more equality if I move back to my home island, Jamaica, that is mostly comprised of people of African descent. It's particularly upsetting that these cases were reviewed in 2015 because 2015 was the beginning of my senior year in college where it is important that I feel like my country has my best interests in mind before I leave school and have to enter the job market, where school cannot shade me from the arms of racial discrimination.

There's always an "excuse" as to why officers act with excessive force. Officers always make it seem like slaying the life of a black man is a reasonable decision. "So and so" was resisting arrest, "so and so"was being non-compliant, "so and so" was being aggressive and made me feel unsafe. "So and so" held me in a choke-hold and had a menacing look on his face. What will be the excuses for the future victims of excessive police force who are brown-skinned? When I watched "Fruitvale Station" near the holidays,which is a movie that is based on a true story that I was trying to avoid because of its graphicness, I almost cried as the victim looked at the officer incredulously as he was shot through his lung after the officer thought he has reaching for a gun in his pants. He didn't make it; sadly, his four year old daughter would have to be fatherless. The lives of these victims matter because they have people to go home to.

Despite these brutal examples of excessive police force against African Americans, I refuse to walk around with my head hung low. I still believe in the American dream, although across the board blacks hold less managerial and other leadership positions than whites do. Many think this is due to racial bias. While I agree with people's decision to protest about these cases, we have to be careful to not write off our futures because America has a racist social climate. While it might be tricky to discern whether I didn't get a particular job because of my race, I'll give the company the benefit of the doubt and attribute my loss to nerves, lack of qualifications etc., I'll try to better myself before I cry "racial discrimination." To be honest, I refuse to use race as an excuse as to why I can't advance in a career, despite the probable fact that officers act out of some degree of racial prejudice.

Still,I wonder how black doctors, black lawyers, black police officers, black school teachers, black chemists, black physicists and black engineers have been affected by these cases of police brutality. Are they more inclined to distance themselves from their white counterparts? Are they generally disillusioned with their country? Have their work performances fallen because they are hearing this news? Altogether, it would be interesting to poll blacks with regular everyday jobs who are removed from the media and the public sphere, to gauge how much they are affected socially and economically by the excessive police brutality against blacks and African Americans in America.

I think that the black community has benefited from these cases being highlighted in the media because we are banded together in solidarity. In our solidarity, let's stop pushing around stories about why we are considered less than our white counterparts and other minorities.This year, I read disheartening stories that argued that black people will lose when it comes to white privilege because systems are in tact to make sure that the white race will always have social, economic and psychological advantages to blacks. Therefore, it is essential that we push stories and ideas that encourage us to present ourselves as equals to the majority.

I think that we should return to the idea of equality that was stressed by Dr. Martin Luther King. The notion of equality is perfectly expressed in the following quote in which King imagines a fair world for his children: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." Although these inspiring words were uttered approximately half a century ago, I think that these words should remain in our mind during the modern civil rights movement. Lets show why our character, as blacks, makes us just as adequate as other races in every field, in every social organization and etc. As we protest, storm courts, and contest court rulings, we should not lose sight of the centering notion of equality. Equality should be the heart of our struggle.

Let's remember that by focusing on how we are treated differently, we are not really empowering ourselves while we expose racist systems. Let's empower the younger generation and my generation, the generation of college graduates, because let's face it, when it comes to success we have to interact with a variety of people and we need the confidence to know how to do so. Even if racism comes around my corner, as my adviser reminded me it would, I don't want to feel alienated from whites, I do not believe in division and strife.

Therefore, despite these events that are rampant in the media, I will remain the optimist. I will be optimistic even as people continue to highlight why life sucks for black people in America. I will resist recoiling in anger as I am reminded everyday how and why the odds are stacked against blacks and African-Americans in America. I still want my chance in America, I will not let discriminatory acts roughen my entry into the public sphere because my life matters too.