It's not as easy as it looks. Moving on from people in your life is never an easy thing. People always say, "it gets better" or "it takes time." It may get better and it may take time, but that isn't helping right now.
Whether you are trying to move on from a friendship, past relationship, or the death of a loved one. It is the toughest thing to let go of. It's hard to move on when memories are always flooding back into your mind.
A song comes on the radio and within the first two seconds you realize that was a song you and your best friend jammed to in the car, the first dance you had with your past lover, the song that was played at your uncle's funeral months ago.
It's seeing pictures on your phone you thought you deleted because you decided to try to move on, but seeing someone's face brings back all the memories you had. It's remembering: prom night with your best friends at the time, your first date together, the random trips to Bojangles and McDonald's for breakfast, exploring downtown Nashville together, that time you put easter baskets on your heads and ate your favorite popsicle from the ice cream truck, and all the sleepovers.
It's when you have had a terrible day. When you use to call or text and tell them all about it, meet up at your favorite spot just to talk, drive to their house just for two minutes to hug them and for them to tell you, "it's going to be alright. I promise."
It's when you're on the way somewhere, cleaning or shopping, when you get a whiff of their scent. When out of the blue you were okay, but now the scent has brought back memories and you wonder how they are doing. When you are buying shampoo and conditioner and you realize its the same kind your ex best friend used. It's when you are looking at perfume to buy and you smell one that reminds you of your grandmother.
It's going out to eat with your current best friends and then realizing a year and a half ago you ate at this same restaurant at the booth across from you with your ex. It's the restaurant that you celebrated your birthday at and shared your ice cream dessert with someone who has since then passed away.
It's constantly remembering them and maybe that's okay. But if you're going to remember the good, you should also remember the bad.
There's also that song that was playing when you found out your best friend had being talking crap about you behind your back. The song that you scream in your car now because it describes someone perfectly and somehow screaming the lyrics makes you feel so much better.
That picture from prom night that you took with your date and not all your friends because you weren't invited to their plans. All the late night pictures from sleepovers that you realized in the end just ended in fights that made you cry.
It's that time your grandmother passed away and you only wanted to talk to your lover, but they decided to dump you and your best friend stopped talking to you that day. It's all the times they needed someone and you were there, but when you needed them it was like you were someone in a desert looking for a water hole...no one was there.
It's realizing that the perfume you just pasted smelt like the one that was on the collar of his shirt the night he came home with lipstick on his neck, and he swore up an down he didn't cheat on you.
It's realizing that the restaurant booth you sat at was the one that a fight happened at. It's the one where your heart broke and nasty words were exchanged.
You now realize that it's best to move on from your now ex best friends and past lovers. You move forward with your life and keep looking ahead because it can only get better from here.
But, you still hold on to the memories of the ones who have long passed. It's something you cope with everyday and maybe you cry from time to time from the heartache, but you keep moving forward because you know that's what they'd want.
