You Can’t Move Onto Your Next If You’re Still Hung Up On Your Ex

You Can’t Move Onto Your Next If You’re Still Hung Up On Your Ex

This should be a no-brainer, right?

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This should be a no-brainer, right? Who would get into a new relationship after just getting out of one? Obviously, there's still lingering feelings there.

We've all heard the expression: time heals all wounds. And that's true. When I broke up with my first boyfriend, it took time to heal. To learn to be on my own and love myself all by myself.

But nowadays, we're all so obsessed with relationships. With finding "the one" and ignoring the fact that we need our alone time. We need time to learn about ourselves, what we like and don't like—especially in a partner.

I'm here to remind you, ladies and gents, it's OK to be single. Don't rush into a new relationship with some guy you met off Tinder not two minutes after your break up because you're "bored" or "lonely."

Nothing can fill that void. Not even a new guy.

Some argue you never truly get over your first love—and I argue that's completely untrue.

First off, how unfair is it to your next? While you're with them, you're still thinking about him? If you're still thinking about them, you're not over them.

I mean, you can obviously still think about them. Maybe you see their favorite movie and wonder how they're doing.

But if you're with someone new, and for some reason, all you can do is think about your ex—you're not over them.

You're not ready to give your whole heart to someone new because someone else still has a piece of it.

I'm not preaching "moving on." Instead, I encourage you to slow down. The right one will come along eventually. I can't tell you how many people I know who are constantly obsessed with finding someone simply because they just can't be alone.

I'll admit, being alone isn't fun. It's nice to have someone constantly there for you. It's like a best friend who's obligated to hang out with you—except you guys occasionally have sex.

But your alone time and your healing time is crucial for your own development. And, by allowing yourself to fully cope with your breakup, you're also saving your next from getting hurt in the end.

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To My Boyfriend's Mom

He loves you more than you could ever imagine...
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Without you, there would not be a him, so first things first, thank you.

1. Thank you for teaching him to love a woman the right way, to put God first, and YOU before me always, the respect he shows you is so attractive, and you deserve it.

He talks about you like you hung the moon, I don't doubt for a second that he will be an amazing father one day, I owe all of that to you.

2. Thank you for giving me a chance, learning to love me when you knew your son was doing the same.

I can't speak for my own first impressions, but hopefully mine was not THAT bad...when we both slapped him on the arms for his rude remark at the same time, I knew our relationship was already blossoming.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. Thank you for every meal you have ever purchased me.

And chocolate, and candy...you know just as well as your son does that food is the way to my heart. Especially Taco Bell and cheesecake ;)

4. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and opinions...and asking for mine

Whether it's telling me to slap him for being a smart a$$, or you're asking me about color swabs for your kitchen makeover, you come to me as if I am your own, and I am so honored to give you my own input.

5. Thank you for including me

You never fail to leave a spot for me, and I love family dinners/outings with you guys just as much as I love my own!

6. Thank you for teaching your son to never give up, and that if he does it is only to better himself, or it's the only choice he has left.

He is so focused on his future, he wants the best for himself, and he is constantly reminding me that these are things that YOU taught him, you deserve to be so proud.

7. Thank you for letting him love my family, and allowing me to love yours.

He is so loyal and loving to my family, and I don't even have to ask myself why because I see him with you and yours. Thank you for letting us double up on holidays when we can, and making sure we get the most out of our time with you!

8. Thank you for being his best friend.

I think of him as mine too, but I couldn't think of a better person to also hold that title, you know him better than anyone else and you always will.

9. Thank you for teaching him how to treat a woman

He is constantly telling me "You sound like my mother." Thankfully earlier in our relationship, he told me that the woman he wants to be with, should do just that. He always tells people who try, "No, no one calls me by my full name except my mom and my girlfriend."

10. Thank you for your honesty

We all know that he and I can drive you crazy sometimes, thank you for telling us like it is, and making sure we know you still love us anyways.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

11. Thank you for teaching him to work as hard as possible in anything and everything he does.

I have never met anyone with such a desire for success, he and I are constantly discussing how we can better our futures, and I know exactly where his drive comes from.

12. Thank you for teaching him to clean up after himself

Even though sometimes, it takes him a minute to do so.

13. Thank you for teaching him how to love, and letting him love me.

I have never felt so loved by a man, probably because anyone else who came into my life was just a boy. Thank you for your unconditional love for him, he is your entire heart and that is so easy to see, I am happy to share his with you.

You and I both know that even years from now we will both occasionally probably be closing the fridge that he left open, cleaning the crumbs he dropped, demanding he take a shower after playing soccer, or reminding him 20 times about plans we made weeks ago, we both share such a great love for such an amazing man. I could never be more thankful that you brought forth into this world such a comforting, supportive, protective, steadfast, driven, handsome, and hilarious guy. Thank you for everything you do for him, for me, and for us, I love you a lot!

Cover Image Credit: casey

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How College Changed My Relationships

Living three and a half hours home isn't always easy, a lot has changed.

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At eighteen years old I was still young and naive about leaving home. Athens, Ohio was going to be this wonderful place where I always had a good time and I would be unstoppable. Literally, unstoppable. How could anyone tell me what to do in my own dorm? That was my space... DUH. I have family in both Pennsylvania and Michigan so going to school seemed like no big deal to me. My mom and dad always packed us in the car to see family, to me three and a half hours didn't seem too far. Along with changes within myself, many personal relationships changed as well over the course of this year.

Mom, my number one fan and my gossip buddy was hours away from me! Of course, we talk on the phone, shoot each other texts and silly screenshots, but it's not the same. It can be difficult to maintain that "close as can be" relationship over the phone. I wouldn't consider myself to have gotten homesick until very far into the semester. There is nothing like your mom taking care of you when you're sick! Our time apart has only made our time spent together more special, our laughs a little louder, and our hugs a little tighter.

Ryan, leaving your BEST FRIEND behind made making new friends a little awkward. I felt like I was cheating on our friendship, we literally have tattoos for each other and now we have to make new best friends?!?! Our contact with each other would decrease and pick back up when one of us had something juicy to talk about. She was busy with school and soccer, and I with school and friends here. At the end of the day, we always knew we had each other back through thick and thin, that's how best friends are. We could understand that every minute we had couldn't be spent on the phone finding out what was going on hours away. I have to tell you though, there are always a few tears saying see you soon when we head back to school.

Tyler, going into college in a relationship was definitely a difficult road ahead for the two of us, but we cared enough for each other to take on that road together. The first ten months of our relationship were spent within 20 minutes of each other and most of those ten months we were by each other's side. By no means was it easy to not see you every day when had the freedom to do so over summer. As the months passed, times got easier and harder and we are still figuring out how to make the distance work. It's a whole different level of effort with a significant other. I hope for better and easier times, only the happiest future.

God, coming to school I wanted to reconnect with God and become more spiritual. I had looked at some options on campus but didn't make the time needed for the one person I should have. I regret this decision the most, which I rarely regret in life. College feels like I'm moving 100 miles an hour and I can't catch a break. There is a heavyweight I cannot lift on my own and the only guidance I can ask for at this moment is yours. I know that my change in relationship with you is the answer.

At the end of the day, I'm thankful for all this year has brought me. With summer coming I hope to spend quality time with those I love and let them know how much I appreciate them.

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