To move in with your significant other is to take a BIG step in your life. You always hope for the best, but let's be honest, you don' t know what to expect. You've spent however long with this person getting to know them and their habits firsthand. You figure that you're so happy with them that you'd want nothing more than to wake up to that same face every morning and feel that sense of security and complacency. Moving in together for the first time could either be the best roller coaster ride of your life, or the worst. Either way, it's a great learning experience for both of you, and there are things we all need to consider before taking that giant leap and being able to land on your feet, hopefully for the best.
1. Understand that there is no such thing as the perfect roommate.
Your partner is not your roommate, but the rule still applies. Things usually start off mutual at first; it could be the love in the air or the novelty of being in a new place, but eventually you start to pick up on each other's bad (and good) habits. Move in together with the expectation that certain habits about that person will frustrate you to some degree, and work together on figuring out how to deal with those habits or break them. Also it won't happen over night, so at least make sure that not taking out a full trash bag or leaving dishes in the sink are things worth being patient or frustrated over.
2. A budget will do you wonders.
How you divide the bills is up to you guys, but keeping a budget-- whether you need one or not-- is a safe, mutual way of keeping track of all the bills you now share. Budgets also allow you to assess how much you should be making in comparison to how much per month you need for bills. A true life saver!
3. Respect each other's personal space.
Just like living with a roommate or two, you need your own space where you can unwind, breathe, and remain unbothered. You are human after all. Moving in together means that you share just about everything. Work out your own relaxation spots, and communicate what personal space means to you in a way that your partner will understand fully.
4. Compromising is key.
This small detail ties into just about everything listed above. You may have a lot in common with your significant other, but there is absolutely no way that you will agree on every single thing. Compromise everything you possibly can-- who buys groceries that week, who has to vacuum the living room, who gets to fold laundry, what TV shows you're watching, who gets to play video games first, even compromise on who gets the shower first. Not only will you gain way more respect for one another, you will unconsciously appreciate the little differences you have.
5. Spend time together.
You can never go wrong with putting your phones away, cuddling up next to each other on the couch, and watching a movie every now and then. It's really easy to become so used to your partner's presence that you forget they are there. Work, school, and real life can get in the way of spending quality time with your significant other in your own home; if you're able to make the time, do it! Embrace and appreciate your partner's presence.
When I moved in with my significant other, I did not have these things stored in my mind. Challenges are inevitable, but it's all about how you handle those challenges. Over the course of a year, I've been able to understand the importance of having a healthy relationship while living with him, and I've not only learned a lot about myself, but also about simple things we can both do to make living in our first apartment together a happy experience for both of us. I hope these things would do the same for my readers!
