When choosing a college, proximity to my family was never really a consideration. It is not that I do not like my family; rather, I grew up in California and lived there my whole life. I did not know anything other than living 15 minutes from the beach, near perfect weather year-round, and going to school with almost all the same kids from kindergarten to high school. While I had been fortunate enough to travel a decent amount with my family to different states, I had never established any part of myself elsewhere. I am not complaining, as it was a wonderful community, one that will forever be a part of me, but I moved once, 5 miles, to a different house, and nearly everyone I knew went to school in the state or UC system. I felt uncultured. Ironic, right? California, probably regarded as one of the most open-minded places, made me feel like I had not experienced much of the world.
No one could understand why I wanted to move so far away. Heck, I did not necessarily understand it myself. Why would anyone want to leave a place, people, and the familiarity they love? My simple answer was adventure. Four years somewhere I got to choose for myself. But the truth was I feared that if I went to school in California I would never grow up.
I learned early on that I am a creature of habit. What I mean by that is that I thrive in what is comfortable, when I am comfortable. I stick to what I know in an effort to feel this way. It sounds boring, but I had fun like that. I was not disappointed, and I knew what to expect, except when I didn't. When I didn't know I had some difficulty adjusting, so I made a goal to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I made a pact to myself to put myself in situations that were new so that I had to learn to function when I was not in my sweet spot. I chose North Carolina and I chose Wake Forest University. My grand total of moving 5 miles would gain a few extra thousand in distance.
I had difficulty adjusting the first year. Who knew discomfort could last that long? I tried blaming this discomfort on a multitude of factors, but really they were just excuses I made up because I wanted new, but I also wanted to feel like it was familiar.
Sophomore year I found my niche. I loved North Carolina and I loved Wake Forest, but it was probably because it all got to be comfortable because it started to get familiar. Yet at the same time I started to learn how to live on my own, away from family.
While I was still financially supported, I was more or less on my own. When I was sick I took care of myself, scheduled my own doctor's appointments, and called my parents when I needed guidance. Sometimes it frustrated me that I could not just drive home. When I went through rough times, I wanted so badly to fly back, but I used the support system I had found on campus to get me through what I thought I could not do alone. When I was homesick, I sucked it up until Thanksgiving, told myself I made this decision, and found avenues to keep myself busy until I was reunited with my family.
Moving cross-country for college has enabled me to become more independent. While my parents are always there when I need them, I find feel less like I need them in stress or hard times. Rather they have become some of my best friends; they always have my best interest at heart when I am seeking advice or just want to chat. However, I would not have been able to grow independently if they had not trusted and supported me in packing up my life into cardboard boxes to move across the continental US.
